Who You Say I Am (A Jai Courtney Fanfic)

Chapter 13-Meg

'Free To Be Me'—Francesca Battistelli

Meg

I scratch my arm in nervousness after revealing all of that to everyone.  I was really trying to avoid it.  I don't like being the center of attention.  I also don't want to be pitied.  I feel like my parents have been looking at me like that since I showed up at their door with my suitcase.  It was actually my apartment but I will never touch that bed again.  I don't want to set foot in there again either. 
I look up and don't see pity in everyone's eyes.  I see concern, caring, and understanding.  That thought makes me smile and I look to Valentina beside me who's telling us that she's a barista at a local coffeehouse near the church. 
Isabella is getting a degree in child care.  Bianca works at her family's restaurant downtown.  Niveah explains how she's going to school for a degree in counseling.  She wants to be a Christian counselor.  Jada is in retail management and has had to save up all of her vacation days to come here.  Nova is between jobs too which I find incredibly comforting that I'm not the only one.  She's still trying to figure out what she wants to do for a career and has been working in food service since high school.  Shanice and Serenity work together at the local clinic, which I know is near the inner city church. 
We all begin to chat after that.  Many of the girls move closer to me and speak comforting words. 
"I know that can be rough," Shanice says.  "I broke up with my long time boyfriend last year and it was a difficult experience to go through.  God will give you strength."
I smile and nod. 
"My boyfriend was a dog," Jada jokes.  "He was not who I thought so I ended things."
Niveah tells me that she and her boyfriend split up about six months ago.  They decided they just didn't suit each other and ended things on a positive note. 
All of the other girls tell me they're single and perfectly happy with that.  I smile and feel better at the position I'm in.  I'm making new friends and moving on with my life. 
My song stops in the middle of a sentence and I fish my phone out of my pocket thinking I pushed pause. There's an incoming call—Spencer.  My skin grows cold in dread. 
"It's Spencer again, isn't it?" Gale questions concerned. 
I nod and rise stepping away quickly.  I get some distance from the group and accept the call. 
"Hello?" I question. 
"Meg?" Spencer says concerned but it's louder than I expected.  I look to the phone.
"Wait... something's wrong.  I think you're on speakerphone.  Give me a sec," I say attempting to click off of that but it won't change back. 
"Meg listen..." he continues not answering me.  I see Gale join me and I get worried.  He hates it when he's on speakerphone.  He's a private person and doesn't like public confrontation.  He doesn't even like public affection.  "I just can't stop thinking about you.  I want to work this out."
"Spencer.  I can't get my phone to turn off speakerphone.  I don't know what's wrong. Do you want me to call you back later?" I ask. 
"Did you even here what I said?  I want you back Meg.  Can't we talk this out?" he says with his voice rising. 
"Can you hear me?" I question. 
"Of course I can hear you," he replies. 
"There's something wrong with my phone," I insist. 
"Stop this crap, Megan!  I'm being serious and you're just trying to blow me off again," he shouts. 
"Woah, are you even listening to what she is saying?" Gale says and I wince. 
"Why are we talking for a crowd to hear, Megan?!" he yells at me. 
I flinch at the tone. 
"I'm sorry.  I'm having a problem with my phone.  I stepped away from the crowd but I just can't get it to turn off of speakerphone.  I was just listening to music..." I explain but he interrupts me. 
"How dare you cause a scene in front of strangers?  Who do you think you are?" he snaps at me. 
"Look here," Gale snaps right back.  "She is having technical difficulties.  She's apologized, told you she could call you back when she fixes the problem, and warned you four times that I could hear.  You are the one causing the scene."
"Who is this nobody who thinks they can speak to me?" Spencer questions lowly. 
I feel a hand on my back and I look over my shoulder to see Jai there. 
"Megan!  Answer me!" he demands. 
"Do you mind if I speak?" Jai questions. 
"Don't," I insist shaking my head.  "Spencer, can I please call you back later when I get my phone situation fixed?"
"Is there a man there with you?" Spencer questions harshly. 
"This is a mission trip.  Half the group is male," Gale tells him calmly. 
"Are you cheating on me Megan?" he yells. 
I hear Abigay's words in my head and I make them out clearly this time.  I'm not hiding this or turning away. I will step forward boldly and end this mess he's making once and for all.
"Spencer?" I say clearly, forcefully.
"There's my girl," he says calming down.
"Are you listening?" I question.
He hums a reply.
"I am only going to say this one more time," I start, being completely civil. "You are the one who cheated. I am the one that called off our wedding. I have never even thought of anyone besides you for four years. You aren't sorry, this wasn't the first time, and you're not going to stop. I will never come back to you... ever. Have I made myself perfectly clear?"
I hear things being slammed around in the background.
"Was he always like this?" Gale asks me freaked out.
"Just this week that I've ever seen," I say shaking my head in disgust.
"How can you even call yourself a Christian if you don't forgive me?" he yells panting.
"Spencer, honey?" Gale says almost mockingly. "She may forgive you for what you've done. But if there is no repentance in your heart, you're not even sorry. Christianity is not a doormat. It is a gateway. Repenting means you realize what you've done is wrong, say you're sorry, stop doing what you're doing, and completely turn around from that behavior. Perhaps God will forgive you if you actually repent but according to the very words of Jesus himself, if you did what you did, that's grounds for divorce and perfectly acceptable. She dodged a bullet finding out who you were before then even. And she's fortunate to not have to deal with a divorce because she'd be entitled to it. All she's got to do is call a caterer and cancel the hall. Praise Jesus she left someone like you. You don't deserve her."
"You're serious, Megan?" Spencer asks me irritably.
"We are over, Spencer. I've been telling you that for days," I say.
"I'm ripping up your contract. How do you feel about that?" he snaps.
"I can find another job," I say dismissively.
"Not in this part of the country you can't, especially when I call everyone I know and blacklist you," he replies cockily.
"I don't care. Do it. I don't need you. I've got my God and He will provide," I say.
"She already has another offer so... what else do you have?" Gale replies.
"What do you mean?" he questions. It's the first time he's even acknowledged Gale.
"Like she said. She doesn't need you. God already provided. Is there anything else you want to say or are you going to throw another fit of rage?" Gale asks.
Jai laughs at that. I'm just staring at my phone.
"Megan, you want to make this public? I'll make it public. I will ruin you," he says almost diabolically.
"Is there anything else you have to say Spencer?" I ask.
"Can't you just forget this?" he says pleadingly.
"That I found you in my bed, in my apartment with your ex-girlfriend? No, that filthy image is branded on my brain," I admit.
"She means nothing to me," he says. This actually sounds true.
"Then why did you sleep with her... more than once according to what you said earlier?" I ask.
"I just needed something to tide me over until the wedding," he says.
I cringe and Gale says, "Eww."
"How many women have you been with, then? You told me you were a virgin. You know I am," I say.
"Can we talk later? I... I just want you back," he pleads.
"How many, Spencer? Have you always cheated?" I ask.
"I'll call you later," he sighs and hangs up. My music starts playing again and Gale hits pause.
"Good God," she says shaking her head. "In our hometown, I can only imagine how many diseases he has..."
I ignore the comment just staring, holding my phone in shock. I lower my hand.
"Are you okay, Megan?" Gale asks. She steps in front of me and meets my eyes. I can't hold back the tears anymore.