Hold On 'Til May - Fuenciado

Chapter Thirty

Vic is sat by Jaime's bed, his head in his hands, tears dried on his face, waiting for Jaime to wake up. The doctors had said that Jaime had lost a lot of blood, but that he'd be alright. Vic didn't understand why Jaime would do this to himself. He thought Jaime had gotten over his cutting, but apparently he was back to doing it. Vic was mumbling to himself, too low for anyone else to hear, and even if they could, it sounded like nonsense. Tony and Mike had been told what happened to Jaime, and were on their way to the hospital.

"I love you so much Jaime..." Vic ran his fingers down Jaime's cheek. "Why would you do this to yourself... am I not enough for you? Did I not make you happy?" Vic lets out a sigh, a frown on his face. "I just want you to be happy..." Vic leans forward, meaning to kiss Jaime's forehead, when Tony and Mike walk in.

"Hey bro," Mike walks over to Vic, holding out his arms for a hug. Vic accepts the hug, and Mike takes Vic in his arms, sitting down on the chair beside Vic, while Tony sits in the chair Vic was in.

"I... I don't understand why he'd do this..." Vic looks up at Mike, a sad look on his face. Mike lets out a sigh, running a hand through his hair.

"Neither do I Vic... but the important thing is that he's alright..." Mike rubs his brother's back, comforting him, and looks over to Tony. He holds out his other hand, hoping Tony will take the hint and take it.

"I thought he loved me..." Vic mumbled into his brother's chest. "We... I... what if... is it my fault? Mike... what if it's my fault..."

***

"Vic? Vic wake up," Jaime notices Vic first thing when he wakes up. He nudges him, and feels a pain in his arms. "Where am I?" He questions, even though Vic hasn't come to consciousness yet. Vic grumbles a bit, but then his head snaps up, a smile on his face.

"Jaime! You're awake," Vic thinks about what Jaime said, then replies. "You're in the hospital."

"W - why?" Jaime lifts up his arms, staring at them, and remembering what happened. Vic notices this, and chooses not to reply to Jaime's question, letting him figure out on his own. Jaime lets out a sigh. "I'm so sorry Vic..." Vic leans forward, pressing a kiss to Jaime's forehead.

"As long as you're alright..." Vic lets out a sigh. "But Jaime... why did you do it?"

"I... I didn't mean to..."

"What do you mean?"

"I didn't mean for it to go that far..." Jaime frowns, thinking about the reason he did it. "Vic..."

"Yes Jaime?" Jaime sighs again.

"Never mind... it's stupid."

[Jaime]

"Never mind... it's stupid." Of course it's stupid. You're stupid. You know Vic's only here because he feels guilty. Who could love you? He probably wishes you had died instead. Vic places his hand on mine.

"Jaime, you know whatever you have to say isn't stupid to me," Vic smiles, and I forces a smile back. "I love you Jaime..." Lie. "I don't know what I would have done had I lost you..." Lie again. "Jaime... is it my fault?" Nope, it's mine... for being suck an idiot. And for failing at everything, including attempting suicide, even though I didn't mean to. "Jaime?" Vic questions me, worry in his eyes.

"No... it isn't your fault... it's mine."

"How?" I hesitate before replying.

"For being such an idiot... for thinking you could actually... anyone could actually..."

"Actually what?" I let out another sigh. I've been doing that a lot this conversation.

"Care. Not like you care." I mumble, looking down at the sheets over my body. Vic takes my chin and makes me look at him.

"Do you honestly think I don't care Jaime?"

"Well... someone who wants me dead obviously doesn't care." Vic's eyes widen.

"What are you talking about?" I turn my face away from Vic, looking to the boring walls. Vic thinks for a moment before speaking again. "Oh god," I turn back to Vic, wondering what went through his mind. "Did you take what I said with Kellin to heart?! I... Jaime... I didn't mean any of it! Kellin... Kellin wanted me to tell you those things! I had to gain his trust! I meant none of it... he's just a psyco! Jaime," Vic runs his fingers down my cheek then leans in and presses a kiss to my lips, lingering only for a few seconds. "I really do love you. Please never, never, never do this to yourself..." Vic looks down at my arms, then back up to my eyes. "I love you so much... I love you Jaime... believe me..." I just stare blankly at Vic. What if he doesn't mean it?

"Oh good, you're awake." My eyes are drawn away from Vic's and twards the door, where there's a doctor.

"I truly do mean it Jaime..." Vic whispers in my ear, before turning his attention to the doctor.