My friends are teasing me because i have never had a boyfriend yet. Who cares if I never had one? I am not in a rush and not that desperate. There are many stories life is meant to tell and finding love is just one chapter. I once told my friends that perhaps my prince is not coming on a white horse but on a turtle that's why it takes so long before we meet. Some guys try to court me, but no one has impressed me yet. Others think that I am a perfectionist, but I am not. It's just that no one of them made my heart thud so hard and no one has animated the butterflies in my stomach. When a guy courts me, the first thing I'll ask is, why me? I loathe when he answers starting with the word because like, because you are pretty, smart, and simple. What if one day he'll find a girl prettier, smarter, and simpler than me? Or what if I become ugly, stupid, and flaunt? What will be his reason to stay? Will he still love me then? Obviously, the answer would be NO, right? I really believe that you cannot tell the reason why you love a person.
One day, I met this guy at church and his name is Ramil, a new choir member. He rubs along with everyone so well, unlike me because i'm a shy person. Honestly, I find him handsome and nice. There is no dull moment when he's around he's kind talkative and has a fine sense of wit. Because of that, we became good friends. Eventually, I noticed that I'm starting to like him. The butterflies rouse and the thudding of my heart intensifies. The thought made me feel giddy and scared at the same time. The what-if-he-doesn't-like-me-back thing clouded my mind so I thought for distractions to dump the thought.
One morning, I saw Ramil and Helen together. I told myself not to be jealous because I don't have the right to be. I am somewhat intimidated by Helen because she's drop-dead gorgeous. Between us two, Ramil would surely be attracted to her than me. After our choral rehearsal that morning, we played the truth or consequence game to alleviate boredom. I was not in the mood to play but I still did. I don't want to be a killjoy. The bottle spins and points to Helen. She chose truth and was asked who do you have a crush on? When she said Ramil, I felt an urge to punch the bitch hard in the face. Urghh! The bottle spins again and points to Ramil. He chose consequesnce. He was told to kiss the girl which he thinks is the prettiest in the circle.
I saw Helen ogling at him but Ramil is not looking at her. Is he looking at me? He sauntered towards me and implanted a light kiss on my cheeck. Everyone cheered and yelled and started teasing the two of us. I am scatterbrained after that incident. I don't know what to feel. My emotions are mixing up. All I know is I am in bliss.
Ramil declared his love for me. He told me that he had a crush on me the first time we met. I ask him
"why me?"
but he only remained silent, instead he just smiled. No BECAUSE-OFs. I was stunned. We had an agreement. The time I kiss him on the cheek is the time I say YES.
He took me to a splendid place one day. It was very nature-y. We watched the sunset together, my head resting on his shoulder, and I feel joy and ease rushing through me.
"Ailyn, I think i know now why I love you." he said.
I lifted my head and looked at him.
"What? I mean, why?" I asked.
"I just do. I really don't know why, but I'm deeply inlove with you." he smiled crookedly.
Tears streamed down my face because that's exactly what I wanted to hear from a guy. I planted a kiss on his cheeck like what he did to me when we played truth or consequence. He gawked at me in shock. And when he finally regained his senses , he shouted I love you, Ailyn loudly and it echoed.
One day, I went to Ramil's house to surprise him. I saw him holding a bouquet of flowers. I can't help but smile. Does he know I'm coming? This will be the first time that he'll give me flowers. Suddenly I saw that Helen is with him. What is she doing here? I ran away as fast as I could. I cried all day. I can't bear the pain and anger I'm feeling. I want to kill them both! The next day, I broke up with Ramil. He was perplexed. I told him not to follow me and then left. Since the day I broke up with Ramil, I haven't seen him yet, even at church. I guess that's for better. I want to forget him.
Few months passed and destiny made us meet again. When our eyes locked, he just smiled at me. I thought I was already over him but I was wrong. The butterflies and the thudding are still in there. I sat on a swing and he sat beside me and held my hand without looking at me. I didn't look at him also. I don't know why but I just let him hold my hand. We remained silent for several minutes.
"Ailyn, could you tell me now the reason why you broke up with me?" he asked.
I told him the whole story and he just nodded.
"Am I not enough for you? Is Helen a better girlfriend?" I asked.
"How could you be so silly? It was Hazel's birthday and the bouquet is for her. She is my cousin and it happens that Helen is her bestfriend. We planned to surprise her in my house. I and Hellen were not the only people in my place that time." he said, his voice husky.
How could I be that stupid? Oh my god, I don't know what to tell him.
"I'm sorry. I'm so stupid. My insecurities just ruined everything."
I cry and laugh at the same time.
"Are you not attracted to her even just a bit?" I bit my lip.
"Is she you?" he asked.
"No" I replied.
"Then my answer would be no." he said.
"You know what Ailyn? If I could give you one thing in life, I would give you the ability to see yourself through my eyes. Only then would you realized how special you are to me." he added.
"Do you still want to be with me?" I asked.
"No" he replied.
I feel a lump on my throat bit I tried my best not to cry.
"Would you cry if I walk away?" I whispered.
"No" he replied.
I got up the swing and tears fell down on my cheeks. As I walk away he grabbed my arm and told me to stay.
"I don't want to be with you, I need to be with you. And I woudn't cry if you walk away, I would die." he said then hugged me tightly.
"I will never let you go this time." he said.
He kissed me from my forehead to my lips and I kissed him back.
He told me to stay where I was and wait for him. Minutes passed and he came back bringing with him a bouquet of flowers.
"Here, I didn't know that you love flowers that's why I never bought you one before." he smiled his crooked smile that made me fall in love with him.
I noticed twelve flowers, eleven are real and one is fake.
"Thank you. Wait, why is there a fake one?" I asked.
"Because I will love you until that last flower dies." he replied.
