Tantrum

Ch. 12 Milkshakes

*** Spencer's POV ***

"Uh, I can't. I have a prior obligation." I admit.

"Spence..." Mandy groans and I know what is coming. "You're avoiding me."

"No, Mandy. I'm just really busy with work." I sigh.

"You've been using that excuse for the past six months." She whines.

"It's not an excuse, Mandy. You know how this setting is." I remind her.

She huffs. "Well if you had considered the position I set up for you..."

"You know why I needed to stay put." I remind her.

"Yes. I remember. And you know my thoughts on that." She mutters.

I didn't want things to be weird with Mandy and I after that night we kissed. I reached out and told her the short version of why I was so hellbent on sticking with CPS. She understood but tried to convince me that a change of venue might be more freeing than trying to save someone who I lost. I didn't tell her about my attraction to Gwen. I wasn't that stupid.

It's funny how quickly life could change. I had a crush on Mandy since graduate school, but three fateful days with Gwen and her makeshift family sent me into a tailspin. And now here I am, six months later, still denying the person who would have been a dream come true had she not been overshadowed by Gwen and the chaotic way she entered my life.

Now nothing happened between Gwen and I since that pivotal moment in her childhood bedroom six months ago. I got through to her with my outburst that day. And although I saw her regularly, we managed to keep our relationship professional while she worked on her recovery.

And work she did. She had about two months of pretty awful withdrawal symptoms. She was not easy to get along with during it either and there were some contentious moments with pretty much everyone that she cared about.

The worst was the night that she nearly relapsed after a month of sobriety. Fucking Heath wasn't thinking when he insisted she take a weekend trip with him for his birthday. She called me from a bathroom where she was staring down a bottle of flavored vodka that was delivered to the table while Heath was off dry-humping some idiot he met.

"I don't even like this fucking stuff but it's so damn tempting, Spencer." She told me, the strain evident in her voice. I walked her through some therapeutic techniques while I worked on getting a hold of the bar she was calling from. They had a rideshare pick her up and I booked her a flight home the next morning out of my own pocket.

She didn't talk to Heath for another two months after that incident. I felt bad because she revered him as her friend, but he wasn't healthy for her. He kept up with party scene that she needed to outgrow, especially with her addiction and commitment to see-through her promise to Tammie.

She told him as much and the last few times that he hung out, they stayed in and watched movies. He was trying but I still didn't trust him. I'd have to figure it out if Gwen and I became anything more in the future.

I was still curious about that future even though the past several months might have looked like a cooling off period. I kept a distance because I didn't trust myself. I never meant to break the rules and kiss her, but it happened. And now that I had tasted her lips, I wanted more. But I needed to be patient.