[✔] lightbulb » lee taeyong & na jaemin

ch. 40

gumusservi: moonlight shining on water

» author's pov // four years ago »

jaemin and taeyong were always there for each other. when taeyong was kicked out, jaemin had taken him in first. he remembered it vividly.

taeyong had been soaking wet from the rain. he was shivering, and before he could even ask, jaemin had already dragged him in and got him clean, warm clothes.

but then, it was the day after he caught taeyong kissing ara in that gym. when taeyong had gotten home, he immediately knew something was wrong.

"talk to me!" he pleaded. "jaemin, did something happen?"

"you kissed her." jaemin didn't need to specify. taeyong was fully aware of jaemin's crush on–no, love for–ara.

"oh." taeyong shrugged. "yeah, i did. so what?"

"i can't believe you, taeyong. why would you do that to me? Why?"

"i like her too. don't be selfish. you're just jealous that she likes me back."

"go," jaemin said. "i can't stand seeing your face right now."

taeyong left without another word. and he never came back.

because he went to live with ara.

——

» author's pov // present »

taeyong woke up in his bed, alone as usual. miyeon's words replayed in his head, and the fact that he had lost his head and beat ara up...he was scared that he would have to face the consequences soon.

he got ready for work, despite waking up two hours before his alarm. he occasionally glanced at ara's locked door, wondering if he could make her breakfast or kiss her or love her properly–

well it didn't matter. ara deserved somebody better. so he grabbed his keys and left early for work. he would probably drive around the city, buy some coffee or something. whatever it was, it would be fine as long as he didn't need to face ara.

he couldn't handle seeing ara right now.

little did he know, jaemin was following him. tugging on a cap to hide what could be told later, he was going to get answers.

——

» author's pov // later »

taeyong exhaled loudly. jaemin had shoved him against his office wall, and the look in jaemin's eyes...

"DO YOU EVEN LOVE HER!?" jaemin shouted.

"of course, i do," taeyong responded calmly.

"then fucking show it! what are you, bipolar?"

taeyong remained silent. he knew he could lie to jaemin, but in this moment, he felt that he could no longer hide it from him.

he watched as realization dawned on jaemin, and even more anger filled his eyes. "oh. you are. even better for ara." his words dripped with sarcasm. "i'm leaving. i can't fucking take this anymore."

taeyong stayed silent because he had nothing to defend himself with.

——

» kwan ara's pov // present »

taeyong will love you if you eat better. taeyong will love you if you have more stamina. taeyong will love you if you didn't waste food.

the words repeated over and over again in my head.

taeyong will love you.

i sobbed as i shoved food into my mouth and forced myself to swallow. hiccups came, as i continued to cry and hug my stomach to hold back from throwing up.

my stomach flipped despite my efforts. and then i ran to the bathroom, collapsed onto my knees, and threw everything up.

the loneliness overwhelmed me.

——

» kwan ara's pov // present »

"i'm sorry, sir, i'm quitting martial arts," i told my instructor. although i never liked him all that much, i would miss doing taekwondo.

"what a shame," he sighed. "i thought we were going to get you your second black belt by the beginning of next year."

"sorry," i said again.

"does jaemin know?"

"no, not yet. i'm gonna tell him today."

when i got to jaemin's house, he knew something was up before i could even open my mouth.

"you okay, ara?"

"i quit taekwondo," i said quickly. "i'm sorry," i said, for what felt like the millionth time today.

he didn't bother with changing my mind. "oh, ara..." he embraced me. "it's okay." after a while, he let go of me. "go home, ara. taeyong will want to see you."

i laughed. "mm, sure. bye, jaemin."

at home, it was as empty as ever. i continued to do my chores, despite never seeing taeyong anymore. he had decided to work another shift, so that he was home late at night and gone early in the morning. i hadn't seen him in a really long time.

——

» kwan ara's pov // present »

my summer break was almost over. i was staring at my computer trying to decided whether or not i should continue attending college.

did i have enough mental stability to continue? was there a purpose in me pursuing a degree? I thought over these questions carefully. i could always sign up for a continuation school if i really wanted to go back to school, right?

with a sigh and a click of my mouse, i was officially a college dropout.