Only Memories No Emotions

Chapter One: New Reality

I saved the universe but at what cost? No one remember a me, for a while I thought it was a good thing because no one could be hurt by me. After I got into MIT, I realized the weight of what I had done.

Instead of trying to go back and fix things I started to figure out why people took drugs and I've got to say engineering drugs that work on super soldiers is hard work. But after a couple of tries I have the perfect meds.

A normal person would die if they even took a 4th of the pill hit it takes me 2 to be high. I've built up a tolerance but when you've got a brain like mine it's no problem.

The classes where boring but, sometimes I could sit close to Ned and MJ. They don't know who I am and that's okay I'm fine with it because they can be free from hurt and pain.

May died 2 years ago and it still hurts, I sometimes talk to her but I've given up on being Spider-Man not forever but for the time being. I can't help every time I get in that suit I feel like the world is collapsing.

I wonder if this is how Mr. Stark feels after the Thanos fiasco, he lost an arm and his eye but he still had a strong support group and people worship him. I'm glad he's doing better for the first moth after Thanos he was stuck in a coma and it felt like the world had broke. For me it had and them the whole shit with the multiverse happened and bam I'm though into the world for once in my life truly and utterly alone.

No one told me how bitter the world actually was when you were alone, trying to figure out things as a adult were harder than I thought it was going to be.

Who knew that there was so much shit you had to do, like taxes, getting a job, or even just trying to get groceries for yourself.

Living on my own wasn't as fun as I thought it was going to be. I wouldn't of thought that this would be as depressing and as demanding as it would of been, but with several coping methods that most would condemn I was starting to get the hang of it.

"Hey Fitz, do you want to meet up after class and go down to the last-wire, I hear it's a half off happy hour."

I looked at my classmate, I think his name was Junior couldn't be sure tho. I nodded and sat down waiting for my professor so I could zone out.

Before the lecture started I popped a pulled after 20 minutes or so a familiar buzz hit my system and started relaxing a but more.

I could hear everything in the room, the rustling if paper, whispered secrets, and restless collage students trying to stay still.

I slowly slipped into a little nap hoping to catch some z's before parting tonight.

I work up to someone shaking my shoulder. Usually I would freak out but I could still feel my senses slightly dulled from the pill.

I looked up at junior who had a shit eating grin on his face.

"Come on bro, you'll never guess who coming for a guest lecture. Yep you guessed it Tony Stark. But that's tomarrow for now we have a party to get to. Justin and the girls said they would meet us there and I heard Cassidy got her hands on her old man's hardcore stuff."

I walked next to Junior nodding and slightly listening a little shocked by Tony coming but sense he didn't know me it would be easy to miss his lecture and have a little more fun instead.

I got into Juniors jeep and caught a ride to the party. I looked up and realized I had been here before, it was one of the first parties I had ever been to a young 18 year old with bright eyes and some false hope. Quickly diminished that and found a great coping mechanism.

I might've gotten a few names from my past years prying with included play boy, drug addict, alcoholic, and genius.

I could invent drugs for super humans and regular humans, and I've been told that the regular drugs were the shit. Not to mention it payed most of my collage tuition.

"Fittz's my man what's up? You got the goods?"

I pulled a little baggie out, he quickly pulled out a couple hundred buck and we did the trade off.

He gave me the bro hand shake/hug thing and went off to the party.

I walked to the mini bar first and traded the bar tender a bag of pills for free drinks all night. Being a hook up was easy as long as you knew the right people, and boy did I know them.

~Time Skip~

I woke up with a big headache, I could feel a couple of bodies around me. I stretched and looked around, a couple familiar faces and some new faces were laying around the big bed.

I quickly started looking for my clothes hoping to get out of here before any of them woke up and started making plans for hanging out or some shit.

I couldn't find my shirt so I grabbed a random one that don't stink too bad and threw my jacket over it and quickly excited the house.

I could tell people were staring at me and judging my disheveled appearance along with my alcohol smelling clothes.

Ignoring them I popped a couple pills which were cleverly disguised as Ibuprofen.

I walked all the way to my dorm room and quickly walked in and started getting ready for my classes.

After a good hour and a half I was showered and looking half way decent. I grabbed my bag and ate 2 brownies made specially for me and went out the door.

I felt like I was forgetting something but honestly most everything from yesterday was a blur, whatever if it's important I'm sure I'll be reminded somehow.