Sonic Oneshots (Mephilver mostly)

Release

He stared down at his gloved hands, rubbing them together anxiously. Beads of sweat formed on his forehead, this nauseating feeling all well known to him. He feels it so deeply like it's carving his emotional pain into his white furred skin making him cry louder than before. Sometimes it felt so powerful his whole body would give out, knees buckling underneath the pressure of his weight until he collapsed into bed. Whenever he did so, the entire mattress felt like it was sinking downwards farther and farther, consuming him and mushing him into the fabric of the sheets. That's when his heart started to feel it and the pit of his stomach grew heavy with each passing thought. Faint blurry memories growing more vivid with each second on the clock ticking by. His ears pinned back against his skull as the silence in his room drove him practically insane. It felt like the whole world was crumbling into tiny pieces falling into an unknown void, so scared and alone as everything else disappeared. He cried, thrashing around in his bed as his frustration only grew when the feelings and memories didn't go away.

Screaming. He felt himself screaming without opening his mouth. His whole body screamed as he jolted in each direction, tears racing down his face onto his furred chest. Questions upon questions flooded his mind, why did it happen? why me? was I a bad person? why not me? Why can't I be happy? I have nothing to be sad about so why? I did everything and yet it wasn't enough, why?
It muddled his thinking as that despair surrounded him, swallowed him into a pit of nothingness. His white fur clashing against the darkness of his spinning room. He clutched the sides of his head as the ringing got louder and louder, the sounds of his breathing becoming more rapid. In moments like this he yearned for someone to be there, someone to bring him back out into a safe space of comfort where the thoughts wouldn't eat away at him. His friends tried and most times it worked but when he would get home it all came crashing down onto him, burning around him and intoxicating his entire senses into rendering him useless. He clung to the sheets and huddled them into clumps, he hugged it tightly feeling a sense of comfort at the fake feeling of somebody with him. He felt so lonely. So alone. It kept going like this as he laid there sobbing to himself, wetting the covers with his tears.

Hours had passed. The tears had come to a stop long ago but he didn't move at all, only stared into the darkness of his room. Eventually he reluctantly got up, stretching his limbs. His eyes were puffy and burned at the sensation of fresh crying, he wiped away at his face. The white furred creature made his way to the bathroom and looked into the mirror. His skinny frame and weakened bones clearly evident in his lack of self care lately. He thought back to his best friend worrying about him, she was nice. She was a reason he kept going. He sighed and hopped into a steaming shower washing away the filth he's gathered over the past few days, maybe even over a week. He sat there in the tub scrubbing away at his fur, it started to burn as he rubbed harder and harder. No matter how much he washed off he felt like a sheen of dirt was covered over him still, dirtying everything about him. He's a pure albino hedgehog but now it feels like he's turned grey. That's when his mind started to fog up again. He sighed, bringing his knees towards his chest. Everyday he found himself wishing for someone to be there in times like this, sometimes he felt like screaming out his window for help and for someone to find him and take care of him. To make him feel special. To feel worth it. He cried again. He couldn't stop crying even with the water rushing down his body, he just couldn't stop.