Where Are You?

The Hurt

Sitting on the farthest part of the room where he felt cocooned for the past five hours, he looked absentmindedly at the exam proctor. He was done a few minutes ago, but then he had to wait patiently for the bell to ring. He wondered, could he just get out and go home? After all, everything was finished for him. Still, abiding the rules of the exam, he has to sit his ass off until the bell rings, at least thirty minutes from now.

Drifting his thoughts from the exam, he looked on outside. It was almost the sunset and all he ever wanted was to get a breather from all the weeks spent reviewing and memorizing terms. To say that he was exhausted was an understatement – he was way beyond that. If there was a word superlative than that, then that was his description of how he really feels now that everything was over.

He couldn't care less anymore of the results. He had set his mind whether he passes or not, to not retake the exam should the unthinkable happen. It was hard enough to review, too many sleepless nights, words to memorize, cases to digest. It was more than enough for him to bear. But at hindsight, he wanted to prove something to someone.

Someone who had been a part of his life and made his dreams with. Someone who was integral for him to pursue this course, and eventually this career. Someone who likewise dumped him just recently, after claiming that he didn't have enough time to nurture the relationship.

He shook his head in utter disbelief and thought,

"Whatever happens, I will never go back to the past."

The buzzer rang and it surprised him that he was jolted from his reverie. Just a while ago he wanted to get out of the room, but now his ass wouldn't even budge for him to stand. All of his co-examinees heaved a sigh of exasperation, but there he was, heaving a sigh to wake him up from the thoughts that enveloped him for the past thirty minutes.

He got up and handed his exam notes to the proctor, who received it after giving him a small smile, as if to congratulate him beforehand. He acknowledged it with his own smile before proceeding to get his things deposited in front. When he got all of his effects, he stormed out of the room, walked towards the gate, only to stop on his tracks upon seeing the woman who had been invading his thoughts a moment ago.

She was holding flowers and balloons, along with a banner. His eyes scanned through it, hoping to find his name written. It was ironic, because just a moment ago, he convinced himself that he will never go back to the past. But there he was, hoping to see his name on a banner the woman was holding up for everyone to see.

It was not his name though. Instead, it was for someone who shared the same room as he did five hours ago. The man who sat in front of him, no less. A school rival, who later on became someone who took his ex-girlfriend of two years. It was funny how she got over him right away, considering that they just had separated three months prior to the exams. He didn't want to think about how they came to be, but word has it that the two had been secretly seeing each other behind his back. His best friend confirmed it when he saw them walking hand in hand one time. It almost cost him his friendship with the guy because he never wanted to believe it, until he saw that freaking banner being waved around by the woman who must have thought he was a doormat boyfriend. Which was, just right now.

He walked on straight ahead towards the entrance of the university where he saw his older brother holding out a balloon and a flower for him, with his best friend standing close. Hyun Jun Heon and Jang Dong Gun. Two men who believed in him when he started to doubt himself after the break up that almost cost him the review and the exam he just took, albeit he never told his brother about the real reason. He smiled as he took longer strides to get out of the university which was his home for the whole of five years, or more. He was confident to say now that his stint at the uni was over. As he approached them, he stood up straight and gave a salute to the two of them.