spent and silenced

7 - spill

{stupid MF - mindless self indulgence}

no matter how many times i say it, you dont seem to get it. why dont you get it? i chop it up into little pieces, spoonful succulent slices of fruit into your mouth gently. yet my patience runs thin when you want more and more. maybe if i break it down more, it wont spill and slide off your tongue like the taste is sour. i chop faster, faster, trying not to spill as i quickly pick up the spoon again. still, the constant gentle demeanour never seems to falter when the small drops spill. this is getting messy. 

i try to put the spoon down, rest my tired hand. but i have this nag, a knot tugging and tugging inside of me trying to tangle me inside and never let me go. it aches when i resist, and throbs when i uselessly pick at the tense threads. however i try though, my grip on the rope remains tight as if something is driving it to hold on, no matter the expense. i don't want to leave you (myself?) all alone, after all. 

'maybe i've said too much', i think as once again i pick up the spoon. 

--

[a/n]

apologies for the small hiatus of sorts,, i wasnt in the right mood for poetry for a while ig

i have another in the drafts so when i perfect it into the books it goes

this book is more like just vents tbh 

im in my (knockoff) kazuha kin arc dhmu /j /ref