𝗔𝗹𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝗗𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗹𝗮𝗵

vol 1

   As I walk through the beautiful yellow daisies while the grass on my bare feet               

 Tickles my skin. Following the open pathway as iIsee my family in the distance and spotted a familiar figure. Starting up some speed as the figure started to slowly leave. I just felt my feet move quicker as if I was being chased by a lion.

Getting somewhat closer to the figure but as I shout the figure's name he doesn't turn just keeps going as if I'm a ghost. As I repeatedly yell his name until he just stops right there in the middle of the field. It felt like time simply stopped waiting for the reveal of the dark figure.

Then he starts to slowly turn his whole body to face me as I anxiously wait, shook to my core while horror stains my face it was him, Grandaddy wait I say as the figure slowly fades again, Grandaddy please don't leave me again' I pleaded' while kept running starting to feel like I'm in quicksand.

I slowly start to sink as I continue begging him not to leave me again.

But my vision starts to blur but that doesn't stop me from begging him not to leave me, But he never comes back and neither does my last sight of him.

JAN,27,2022

The day my life ..... Well everyone's changed forever, DEATH the word that

Leaves a burn in my throat as if it's like suicide to let that word past my lips. Afraid to relive that nightmare that left me scard for the rest of my life

Having a large piece of me gone forever not being able to hear him scold me one last time.

If I had a time machine I would go back and do some things differently, Hug him more and hear him tell me how proud of me he was. But sadly this isn't a fairytale but only real life and that doesn't happen here

People don't get second chances or do-overs instead we live and learn to accept over time.

But all I can feel is hatred for the world and why they took him away from us when we needed him. I know it's selfish of me to wish he never left. Even though he suffered enough and was ready to leave this earth at peace. But I wasn't ready to give him up yet either.

Most times I wish that I would soon wake up from this awful place that just stuck in my

Imagination ready to come back to reality where he is still alive and in the nursing home. An was still video chatting weekly.

Always making plans to see him but sadly not keeping them by being too scared to see

Him. Not knowing that the end will come sooner or later and regretting every little argument or not cherishing the small moments, We had an now everything I was taught or did with him shall affect me for the rest of my life.

It won't only leave me with hurt but have such a good impact on me and in my future and towards my goals and dreams which will help me become the person I was meant to be knowing he's looking down on me with a smile and having pride.