Lake Jerry
I – The chosen one
The chosen one. No, not LeBron. Jerry the chosen one, Jerry the lake. Here they also call me the kid. In our world i'm amongst the younger ones, but to be clear i'm old school. I'm not one of the fancy, new guys, made by humans. I was made by glaciers, i'm old school. The chosen one, you wonder what is that about. Well when i was born my uncle made a prediction that some day a big rain is gona fall from the sky and i will get bigger then anyone. I would get so big that i could merge with the Big O guy, i mean the ocean. So big in fact that i will be bigger then that Caspian guy, the guy thet got so big he even got a nickname sea for some reason. The chosen one, that's me.
II – The ugly truth
The ugly truth is the thing that only my, truth to be told, senile uncle Tom and I bealive i'm the chosen one. But to me, that dosen't matter at all. Did it matter to LeBron, no! He even has it on his back. Maybe i should do it also, i mean i would if i had a back and if uncle Tom knew how to make a tattoo, but never mind. Beside all of that, all of that i just told you, one thing also dosen't fit in my big plan aka „Getting enormous plan" and that is the fact that in this very moment it's summer. Now this very summer a new trend arrived and of course it's about humans, who else. Apperantly who manages to collect the biggest number of humans swiming around in his water gets some sort of celebrity status and gets a water cleaning machine. For me that's riduculous, not humans, not trends, not summer, not the drought is gona stop me from getting enormous, i'm the trend setter. I just need the rain and a little help from my friends, like Joe Cocker used to say.
III - Friends
Friends. I love my friends. Barry and Kevin are my best friends. We grew up together and needless to say they are crucial to my „Get enormous plan". The little secret i never told you about is that my buddy Kevin has a geyser in his ass and the only ones who know that secret are Barry and me. Barry is also important, i mean he's not i have a geyser in my ass important, but he's moral support and i never paid him when he helped me to get rid of some boat, so Barry is in. Don't judge. We are friends, but i love Kev more.
IV – Big ass
Big ass. Yes, Kevin has a really big ass. So big that everyone in the kindergarden called him „Big booty Kev". So big that Barry and i were his only friends. I mean it's mostly big because of that geyser, but it's not a bad thing. That's not a moment when God thought to himself ooh i'm gona make his ass riduculous moment, that's a moment of hope. He's a pioneer, a geyser exploding fat ass pioneer. You probably thought that geysers are opennings on the surface of Earth that blast hot water from his underneath pumps. Yes i thought so too, but Barry did a really enormous 6 minutes long Wikipedia research, study to be more correct and found out it could be also called a underwather volcano if it's underwather. Our opinion is that it's to big to be a volcano.
V – The rain
The rain is coming. Never had the tiniest moment of doubt in my mind. According to my uncle Tom's, Mongolia based wether prediction it's gona be raining tomorow and that means Kev need's to make his ass explode tomorow too. I never took you into detail with my „Get enormous plan", but to give you a clue when the rain starts to fall and Kevin shits himself i will get the necessary push to breach a new constructed dam that was built near me a few months ago. With that push and that moment of piercing through the dam i will expand my beautiful sexy, big liquid aggregate state all over the valley. All over to the Big O guy in fact. Needless to say that is the moment i will exceed even the nickname Caspian sea. Now let's get Kev full of „healty" food.
VI – The massacre
The massacre. The moment has arrived. It's rainning. Kev's stomach is full and all we are waiting for is the explosion. It would be a massacre, a masterpiece of farting art. Even uncle Tom is excited. Now he's sleeeping, but he told me this morning that he was excited. I'm more then ready, i was born ready, all my bags are packed, the past is behind me and the bright future awaits me. Today Kev also told me he's not feelling as usual, like he's feeling to full, like he never felt beafore. That brought a little thought in my mind. Maybe it is a underwather volcano. Maybe Barry watched youtube videos and didn't even do the research about Kevin's ass. That changes the plan drastically.
VII - Research
Research was done by Barry, but the research of how frogs get pregnant. Yes, that was the moment i knew he fucked up, i fucked up and Kev will kill ous all. We all are gona turn into ponds or puddles. That must be stoped. The „Get enormous plan" just transformed into mission imposible, Terminator 2, kill the liquid metal terminator guy stuff. Kill Big booty Kev beafore he kills ous all, that's the new plan.
VIII – The Experience
The experience. I need that to succeed and we all know where is the only place i can find that. Not Barry the research master, not Wikipedia, not Tik tok. Uncle Tom. Yes, uncle Tom was the solution. I need that senile old pond looking like lake to share with me all his wisdom and guidence. Unfortunately he's asleep, maybe he's even dead, i havent checked on him for 5 hours. Yes, that's the solution. I don't need some prehistorical ice age pond to tell me what to do. That's the solution, Kevin needs to fall asleep and in sleep i guess he can't fart. The world will be saved.
IX – Execution
Execution. That is my middle name from now on. Big booty Kev fall asleep. I did it without Barry, without uncle Tom, did it with my own willpower and mine specific set of skills. That specific set of skills is acctually what i used on Kev, i just did nothing. The night came along and he fell asleep on his own and about the fart, it turned out my theory was correct, he can't fart while sleeping. The only one who farted was uncle Tom and it was pretty bad. Not in a the world is gona end way, more in a prehistoric dying mammoths smelling way.
X – The answer
The question is wasn't the rain falling and did it help in any way to the original plan, beside all the stuff that happened with Barry, Kev and uncle Tom. Oh yes, it did help. The rain filled the Big O guy. It filled him up so much he went berserk. Barry letter did a research and found out it's called a tsunami. Now because of the rain and because of me saving the world and stoping Kevin from shiting himself the dam is broken and there are no humans in uncle Tom anymore, he's not a celebrity anymore. I haven't seen any animals around for a long time too. To be honest i didn't see a lot of earth at all, the Big O guy just took it all for himself. Wish i didn't stop Kev from shiting himself.
