Sumthin' This Way Comes Wicked

The Morning After

Lisa's POV

Julian dropped me off at my mom's and I passed out on the couch for all of twenty minutes.

Mom: Lisa... Lisa... Lisa Nicolette Marie August!

Me: Huh? What? What happened?

Mom: Damn girl, you're tired! But what happened on the date?

My mother is childish at times.

Me: Nothing really. We went to the French restaurant I really like, then there was the attack of the drunk waiter, oh and he took me to the beach and I ended up not being able to walk, then he dropped me off.

Mom: His stroke game on fleek?

OH.

MY.

GAWD.

Only my mother would ask some embarrassing shit like that. I felt my eyes open all the way up. How do you tell your mom this? Or do you play it off?

Me: MOTHER!!

Mom: What? I wanna know.

I laughed and blushed too much. My mom smirked, yep, she knew.

Mom: What's with the ring?

I cheesed and looked at the floor.

Me: I'm getting married.

Mom: WHAT? WHEN? TO WHO? DO YOU HAVE A DRESS?

I laugh and shake my head. My mom is weird.

Me: I'm engaged, probably in a year or two, Julian, and I need a dress still, I mean it just happened.

My mom fainted on the couch, so I tucked her in my spot and went to the room with my two babies.

Tyler was sleep, but Crystal was wide awake.

Me: Hey Cryssy, why aren't you sleep?

Cryssy: I was waiting for you mwommy!

I laugh and make her lay down. I love my kids so much, they mean the world to me.

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Eventually I fall asleep and wake up to the smell of bacon and pancakes. I hope my mom made bacon pancakes, like from Adventure Time. Don't judge me, the kids make me watch it.

I pick up Cryssy and wake up Ty and we head downstairs.

Me: Hey mommy

I kiss my mom's cheek and the kids follow suit.

Ty & Crystal: Morning grandma

I smile and make everyone's plates. This reminds me of how it was back when Julian came over in the mornings.

~Flashback~

Lisa is 7 and Julian is 8

It was the day after Julian's dad left for a business trip and his mom was passed out drunk.

Julian: Li-Na can I come over?

Me: Yeah! Mommy wanted to see you anyway. It's breakfast time!

Julian smiles and goes to my house.

Mom: Hey Julian! Where's your parents?

Julian: Dad left and mom is on the couch sleep.

My mom wrinkled up her nose and hugged Julian. Something was off, but I didn't care I was hungry.

Me: Mommmmm, can we eat now?

Mom: Sure Lisa, come on Ju, I made pancakes with bacon in 'em.

Julian and I laughed and sang our bacon pancake song.

~Flashback Over~

We should sue Adventure Time for using our song. I chuckle to myself and start eating, then my phone rings. I don't even look at the caller ID and I know it's my boss. My boss is pretty cool, his name is DJ, he's a few years older than me but he keeps trying to flirt with me, and it ain't gonna happen. He's married already with a baby on the way. The baby isn't his wife's either.

DJ: Lisa, when are you coming back to work? You have twelve shoots to do before Friday and it's lonely without you here.

Me: Hop off, I'm on vacation and planning my wedding.

DJ: Wedding? Baby when are we getting married?

Me: Not to you bum ass nigga!

DJ: Ms. August, surely you value your job more than that?

This bitch. Using my job as leverage is the oldest trick in the book.

Me: I can still call the DA about the missing paperwork.

DJ: You want a few more w-weeks off ? Isn't this vacation unpaid? I'll double your salary if you don't mention the papers.

Me: Deal.

I hang up and my mom laughs.

Mom: DJ still dickriding?

I nod my head.

Crystal: What's dickriding?

I choke on my pancakes. She wasn't supposed to repeat that...

My mom howls with laughter and my dad walks in the room groggy and grouchy.

I tell Cryssy it's something that we shouldn't have said and she shouldn't repeat it. All she says is : Otay mommy.

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I call Julian an hour or two after the dickriding episode. He tells me that Ashley's looking for me, and she's got her brothers with her looking for me. Ooooooh, I'm scared. Sike. I'm not scared at all.