Euphoria Imagines

Rue X Fem!Reader

Name : It's Like I'm Numb

Relationship : Platonic 

Description : After Ashtray passed away his twin was taken in by Rue's mom ( Fez got locked up ). She finds it hard to feel anything or do anything and finally opens up to Rue.

Warnings : Talks of mental health and Talks of death

( When Rue is talking )

I laid on Rue's bed looking at the wall, I had barely slept the last couple of days, every time I closed my eyes I saw my twin Ashtray being shot. I wasn't taken because Fez had explained I had nothing to do with it, it was the truth I was never involved with their stuff, but they also told me I had to find someone to take me in since Fez was going to be locked up for a while. Rue's mom was a sweetheart and told me she would take me in until things with Fez got fixed. "Y/N, Hun, you need to get up," Leslie said walking into the room I just looked at the wall "I'm up," I said looked at her as she sat next to me, they all understood how hard this was going to be for me. She rubbed my arm and nodded her head walking out, Rue walked in after she left and laid down next to me "Y/N, do you want to go on a walk with me?" she asked and rolled to her side and put her arm around my waist trying to comfort me. I nodded my head yes, and she sighed with a smile, "ok get up, I will wait for you by the door," she smiled and kissed my head.

Y/N has always been like a sister to me, she is an amazing kid, and I knew how hard this shit was going to be, but I would do anything to keep her safe, just like Fez and Ashtray would want.

After Rue left the room I walked over to the dresser where I kept my clothes, I put on one of Fez's polo shirts, a pair of leggings, and my red converse. I brushed my hair and put it back into a messy bun, when I was done I walked out the door waving bye to Gia and Leslie. "Hey," Rue said and took my hand as we began to walk, "How are you feeling?" she asked, and I looked at her, I knew Rue cared, she always has. "I don't really feel anything to be honest," I said and played with the chains on my neck that are Ashtray's and Fez's. She nodded her head "I'm sure you do, you just can't tell, I felt the same way after my dad passed," Rue said, and I nodded my head.

I knew how she was feeling, not exactly, but I knew how it felt to watch the person you love the most die in front of you. Ashtray and Fez where the first two boys to ever show her what real love was, they were her only family and now one has passed and the other is locked up.

We sat down on the swings and I looked at her "It's like I'm numb," I said and looked at my lap. The only other thing I could feel was anger, I was mad at Ash, but I also understand why he did what he did. "I get that kid, it's normal," she said and turned to look at me "I want him back," I said and tears poured out of my eyes. Rue stood up and pulled me into a hug "I know, but he did what he felt like he needed to do to keep you and Fez safe," Rue said while running her hand up and down my back "I can't sleep, every time I close my eyes I see him," I said and weakly wrapped my arms around her waist, she just kept telling me it would be ok and whispered other calming things to me.

//Y'all this shit was so sad to write