My awful mistake

1

Haru

'The way you looked at me, I always had the feeling that you had a little thing for me. But unfortunately, we had to part because we didn't have the same views on this world.'

Back when I was still in high school, I fell in love for the first time. The feeling of butterflies in my stomach was triggered just by looking at him. The flowers I had received almost every day. The feeling of not being alone, of being understood.

Our love was like the first breeze of spring. So innocent, so refreshing. But our separation felt much worse than a snowstorm. All the cold words that fell, all the tears that flowed. We broke each other. But I guess I was the one to blame.

I tore us apart with my bare hands.

And now here I am, hiding at a party, trying to not get noticed by him. Don't get me wrong, I do not intend in being childish nor do I still have feelings left for him, but it's just that, I'm too scared of meeting him again. After all those years.

Even though I moved on, even though I'm all grown up now and he may not even remember me, I have a fear of meeting him again. A fear that I cannot explain rationally.

As I was looking in the mirror, encouraging myself to finally go out of the bathroom, my phone suddenly rang. Looking at the screening, I rolled my eyes, seeing my older brother's number.

'What do you want?', I asked harshly.

'Just checking if you're dead, sis'

'We saw each other in the morning. today.' I was more than pissed. He only calls me when he's in trouble or in need of something.

'You could've died from a car accident, who knows.'

'I'm hanging up.'

I was still on the phone when I heard knocking followed by some kind of screaming. The person was waiting in line to get to the toilet.

I opened the door, apologizing to the person while still holding the phone in my hand. I needed to get outta here quickly.

As soon as I left the bathroom, music started to rumble in my ears. I was always comforted by this kind of atmosphere, but right now I felt anxious about him recognizing me here.

'the hell are you, Park Haru?'

fuck, I forgot about the jerk on the phone.

'I'm picking my friend up from a party.' I said my voice not even showing my anxiousness. It was rather encased by a monotone tone.

'I'm not buying it', he said but I cut him off by hanging up. I do not have the time for him to give me a lecture and besides, I'm a grown-up!

I started heading to the exit, my head facing the ground. The chance of him recognizing me in this crowded area was low but never zero.

Opening the door of the exit, I felt better just by smelling the fresh air making its way into my lungs. That was close. Out of all people that I hated in my life, why did I have to see him? I mean, I didn't necessarily hate him, but... I can't even explain my feelings towards him anymore.

'Haru?'

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