fix me // l.t

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Hi! So just to clear this up, this story used to be called Saved By Louis Tomlinson, however I decided to re-write it as I feel like my writing skills have improved since I wrote that story. This will follow the same plot with the same characters, but will hopefully be more well written!

I hope you enjoy and I'm gonna try and update as much as possible!

******This story will deal with the topics of abuse, sexual assault, eating disorders, depression and self harm, so please do not continue if these are triggering at all to you. Some of this may be difficult to read and I don't want to upset anybody******
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I pulled on my leather jacket, easing it carefully over the bruises on my arms to avoid hurting the sensitive skin. It was almost routine now, covering them up so that no-one could see. After 5 months it almost felt normal.

Being in an abusive relationship is one of the most difficult things anyone could ever go through. Mainly because of the actual physical abuse, and also because of the mental damage it causes. You start to believe all the things that they're saying to you, that you're worthless, fat, a slut.

Jamie Light was the boy who had taken my heart over a year ago. 5 months ago he became the boy who turned me into a victim of physical and emotional abuse.

/// 5 months ago ///

The bass pounded in my ears, causing me to sway my hips to the music and lift my arms in the air. I was in the middle of a crowd of people from my school, all jumping and dancing together.

I turned around, smiling at my close friend Adam who stood behind me, not too close to make me uncomfortable but close enough that I could hear him talk.

"Hey Brooke, you having fun?" He grinned, stepping closer to me so I could hear him more clearly.

I nodded, about to reply when I felt a strong grip on my arm, yanking me in the other direction. I was pulled into a hard chest, and I turned around to face a pair of blue eyes.

"Jamie!" I screamed, grabbing onto his arms and jumping up and down slightly. Apparently the vodka shots people had been giving me all night had finally kicked in.

"Come with me, I need to talk to you." He stated, turning me around and pulling me through the crowd of sweaty bodies. I was slightly confused as to why he seemed so angry. I hadn't done anything wrong, had I?

He led me to his car that was parked outside of whoever's house the party was being held at, Jess or Jane or something like that. His grip on my wrist was tight, so tight that it was almost painful.

"Jamie, you're hurting me..." he ignored me, dragging me round to the side of his car that was more secluded, hidden from the few guests lingering outside the house. "Babe please, let go."

He pushed me roughly into the car door, towering over me and putting an arm on either side of my body. I was much shorter than him, and it was almost intimidating in the current situation.

"Why the fuck were you talking to Adam?" He almost growled, his hot breath hitting my face.

"He was just saying hey, what's the issue?" I told him, attempting to push his arms away from me.

"What's the issue? The issue is that I don't fucking like the way he looks at you."

"He doesn't look at me like anything, what are you going on about?" I was confused, Adam had only spoke a few words to me.

"He looks at you like he wants to sleep with you Brooke, but I guess I shouldn't be surprised since you're dressed like a fucking slut," he spat, looking me up and down and putting a hand on my exposed midriff.

I looked down at my outfit, a pair of black jeans and a loose fitting crop top that showed barely any cleavage, and black converse.

"Excuse me? I don't look like a slut," I responded, shoving him away from me and attempting to walk away.

Before I could take two steps he was grabbing my wrist again, and his steel grip felt as though it would bruise. He shoved me back against the car, grabbing my other arm and pinning them both to the door above me.

"But you've been acting like one. Grinding against any boy that comes close to you and fucking flirting with anything that has a pulse. Guess I'm just gonna have to show you who you belong to." He spat, running a hand down my side and attempting to undo the button on my jeans. I panicked, shoving him away from me and breathing deeply.

"Jamie you know I'm not ready for that," I said, tears stinging my eyes and threatening to spill down my face.

"Well I'm getting tired of waiting Brooke, stop being such a frigid bitch."

It was too late to stop the tears, and as they rolled down my face and blurred my vision I didn't notice the hand coming towards my face. I didn't register the pain at first, or connect the loud slapping sound that seemed to echo in the air.

And then my cheek began to sting, and Jamie stood there, smirking as if he was proud. As if he hadn't just slapped me in the face. He began to walk away, but not before calling out to me over his shoulder.

"I can only wait so long Brooke."

/// now ///

Ever since that night it had become almost a routine. Him pressuring me into sex, me refusing, and him hitting me as a punishment. But as he grew more impatient, the abuse grew worse. Slaps turned into punches, punches turned into pushing me into the ground, and eventually he would full on beat me up whenever he had the chance.

Two months ago he got tired of waiting. Again, he tried to pressure me into sex, despite knowing that I was a virgin and I wasn't ready. I was expecting a beating, as was the routine. But it was much worse than that.

He raped me. And I didn't do anything about it. I didn't tell anyone, not even my best friend Hayley. Because who would believe me? I must have wanted it right? He was my loving, wonderful boyfriend after all.

He threatened me, told me that no one would believe me if I told them about the abuse or the rape. Told me that he would kill if I breathed a word of it to anyone.

So I pretend to be in love with him. I pretend that I'm not dying slowly on the inside every time he holds my hand or puts his arm around my waist. And nobody notices, because why would they?

The emotional abuse was almost as bad as the physical. Everyday he would tell me how worthless and ugly and fat I was, and eventually he started to control what I was eating. He would buy me a salad for lunch everyday, and eventually I started to starve myself without even realising it. I needed to be thinner, prettier, better for him. Otherwise the beatings would get worse.

I lost a lot of weight, to the point where even my friends were starting to get worried. So I ate in front of them, to make them happy, even if it meant I would have to take a trip to the toilets after lunch and get rid of the extra calories I had eaten.

It all became normal for me. I stopped fighting against him, and I started to believe everything he said about me. It was like I had become a completely different person in a matter of months.

I just needed someone to notice. Someone to take one look at the fake smile on my face and realise that I was really not okay.

I guess that person came along sooner than I expected.

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Okay so I hope that was better than the original and I know I changed it quite a lot lmao but yeah I hope you enjoyed :)

I also changed the actress who plays Brooke as I thought she was more fitting, but obviously you can imagine her as whoever you want.

Picture of Marie Avgeropolous who I now imagine as Brooke.