For Lola

Make it stop!

Banging on the doors saying "Get me out of here" doesn't work around here. I need a plan. I've made up some scenarios but I can't yet decide wich one is the best.

Scenario 1: I go for lunch to the cafetaria with all the other freaks and just try to escape, bad plan, I know.

Scenario 2: they get me my meds and I tell them I have always hid them; I get to go to the pharmacy (in this institution) and just try to run

Scenario 3: I force my window and just escape

Scenario 4: I just wait untill I get released, wich is going to take long, I suppose. But its the best idea I've came up with today.

It seems to me like 4 is the best option. So thats what I am going to do. Escape from this mental institution after a period of time. I just win their favor, easy. God, you get crazy just by sitting here.

Writing you really helps, because then I don't think about Charles. I am still in shock by his disapperance. He is everything. The sun, the moon, the stars. The planet with all it's fucking belongings. He was the sunrise on a wintermorning and the sunset around 7 in October. Pale, pink but oh so gracious. His greenish eyes always reminded me of the coral in the sea that I saw when I was a kid, on a trip to the Maledives. My parents didn't drink back them but they also didn't care much about me. His hands were massive, big enough to hold my whole body at once. Long, flexible fingers that ran through my sleek black hair when I laid down on his lap. Legs that ran miles for me, because he lived a couple blocks away but still managed to get to me in less than 5 minutes.

"GOD MAKE IT STOP, MAKE IT STOP! This image is burned onto my eyes. I don't take this, please, make it stop!", I shout, as a nurse runs into my room.

Wait what am I doing?! She can't see my letters, she can't see me like this. This will only let me stay longer in this prison. No no no.

"What's wrong, love?", the nurse tries to calm me.

I don't answer. I don't want to talk. Or maybe I should. Perhaps if I don't they'll think I've gone insane.

"Nothing", I say.

Good thing. Short answer. Okay this is going very well.

"Well okay, just call me whenever you feel the need to.", she tells me.

I nod.

(Please comment on what you think of the story!!! It will get very exciting, I promise! I will try to upload a new chapter every now and then. I know the chapters are short and maybe not that good but this is the first thing I am actually putting on the internet. Since I am not born in any english country, Please forgive me for my mistakes! Thanks for reading! Love, Anna.)