MARKHYUCK - Alexithymia

10.

Mark slapped Haechan, hard. Haechan grabbed his cheek and looked at the boy in surprise,

"What the hell was that for?!" Haechan yelled, still not letting go of Mark in case he fell and got hurt.

"Why do you suddenly care?" Mark cried, Haechan's eyes softened once again,

"I've always cared-" Haechan began, before getting cut off by Mark.

"I don't believe that, you've been so distant. You don't talk to me, you don't talk to Chenle or Jisung, you don't talk to anyone!" Mark yelled, "You're suddenly coming to school bruised and getting in fights and, and smoking," Mark ranted, getting out all of his feelings.

"I've asked you before, and you said it's 'none of my concern'. And now that i' ve been through this, I think I can say it is my concern. I know full well what you do now," Mark said, his tone getting softer, "There's no reason to hide. You know I could never hate you, so please. Please tell me what's going on."

Haechan sighed deeply, he had never told Mark anything that had gone on. Not whenever he was 10, and not now. No matter how many times the boy had told him that he wouldn't ever hate him, he was still scared.

He was scared of what Mark would think of him, if he knew how he felt. If he knew what he went through, if he knew how broken he really was.

17 other people in this household, and yet not one of them understood the pain he was going through.

"C-calm down," Haechan said, "Let's bring you upstairs first," he said, trying to walk before being stopped by the sound of Taeyong clearing his throat,

"I see you succeeded," Taeyong said, "I keep my promises, and this means Mark is free now." He said, looking at Mark and smoking, which caused Mark to scowl.

"Now why the long face?" Taeyong asked, smirking. "I'm not the one who hurt you," he held his arm out to Haechan's direction, "He did. I didn't touch you, so don't get mad at me."

Mark's face didn't change, "As I was saying. I keep my promises, so Mark is now free to go home,"

Haechan looked at Taeyong, who nodded. Haechan held Mark tightly and helped him walk out the door, eyeing Taeyong cautiously as they walked out.

"Come with me," Mark said, "Spend the night at my house again. We need to talk."

"I... I can't," Haechan said, "You know what happened last time we did that."

"Then tell Taeyong first," Mark said, looking at Haechan. Haechan bit his lip before slowly nodding his head,

"We should get you food, what do you want?" Haechan asked, Mark looked up at the sky thinking,

"I've been craving Tteokbokki," Mark said, "Let's get that."

Donghyuck and Mark sat at the table, Donghyuck watched as Mark ate his food.

"So," Mark said, still chewing. "Please, please tell me what's going on." Donghyuck's heart stopped whenever Mark asked the question again,

Donghyuck uncomfortably shifted in his seat, looking around, "Well, um.. What do you want to know?" He said,

"Just.. everything?," Mark said, using his chopsticks to move around the rice cakes, "I guess I just want to know what happened, why did you change? How did you get in this situation," Mark said, looking up at Donghyuck.

Donghyuck cleared his throat before fixing his posture, "You know that day when you found me in the forest?" He began, Mark nodded his head. "I went there every night, the boys in that forest are apart of NCT along with me,"

"I went there whenever I was sad, whenever I wanted to cope without hurting myself. My dad... you know my dad, a 'nice guy' and someone who's 'a great father' and 'totally trustworthy', he's everything but. He's an abuser, a manipulator, and an absolute dick." Donghyuck continued, spitting out every word with distaste as he described his dad. "He blamed me, a child, for my mothers death. How was I supposed to help that? He would beat me, yell at me, and do everything to make sure I was miserable, and so one day, I had enough. I jumped out my window, and ran away as far as I could, until I reached the forest, where I met them."

Donghyuck's throat tightened as he described his story, "We looked for hours for the perfect spot to stay, we all went through something similar. And every night, we'd go to each other. We were each other's family, none of us had one. So, we relied on each other." Donghyuck smiled at the memories, "Sure, we did stuff we shouldn't do. We wrecked the homes of people we didn't like, we smoked, we drinked... but what else could we do?"

Mark set down his chopsticks and listened to Donghyuck's story, "We were kids, kids with no home and nowhere to go. And before you say, 'You could've come to me', imagine how scared I was, Mark," Donghyuck said, tears silently rolling down his face, "I felt like I had no one, no one would understand me like them. They were my home, and as you can see, we ended up hanging out with the wrong people, and getting associated with gangs. We met Taeyong in the forest one day, he was with Jeno and Doyoung, they saw us and, for once, I felt noticed. I felt like I finally had people I could rely on," Donghyuck said, wiping his tears. "It was nice, you know? I grew up with no one, and I finally had at least someone."

"So, they built my trust, and I joined them. I mean, what's the harm? They were nice to me, and they gave me a foundation where I knew I had people who cared for me, but... I was wrong, not with all of them, you might think that since we're gang members, we're all bad people.. but we're not the bad ones. Taeyong is," Donghyuck said. "Please, don't think any less of any of the other members, we just do what we need to survive."

Mark watched the boys shaking figure as he cried, his hand going up to his face and wiping his tears. Mark reached over the table and rested his hand on top of Donghyuck's, and smiled. "I told you, I'll never think of you any less. Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me," Mark said, "You know, there are many other things you could do to survive, though. Right?"

Donghyuck looked at Mark and sniffled, "Yes, but I feel stuck. If I leave, what if he hurts the others? It'll be all my fault..."

Mark nodded his head sympathetically and grabbed Donghyuck's hand and squeezed it reassuringly. "I understand," Mark said, "But please, stay with me. Even if it's just for tonight. I want to make sure you're safe."

Donghyuck looked at Mark through tears and nodded, before pulling out his phone to text Taeyong and tell him that he was going to be at Mark's to look over his health, in which Taeyong left him on read.

Donghyuck and Mark walked to the latters house, joking around like they used to do and Mark caught himself falling more in love with Donghyuck every second,

This was the Donghyuck he knew and loved, and the Donghyuck he fell in love with. He missed him so much.  It hurt Mark to know that the boy would never feel the same, but as long as he was happy, Mark was happy too.