Brian: The Love Of My Life

4. Thoughts

While the bus trundled along the road, I found myself encapsulated in confusing thoughts. Can you guess who about? Brian. That's right. Did he even like me? Would he forgive me? He seemed like a nice enough guy... Am I overreacting? My head was pounding.
"HONOR!!"
"Huh!?! Yeah, what?"
"I've been calling your name for like 10 minutes darling! You're lucky I didn't give up otherwise I would've left you on this bus alone," announced Freddie, ushering me to get up onto my feet.
"Are we here already?" I exclaimed, "It seems like we only got on this bus a minute ago...sorry, I must've been deep in thought..."
"Deep in thought about what, dear?"
"Oh...nothing. Never you worry."
"Okay, well let's get up and off to class already! We're late as it is!" Barked Freddie as he grabbed my hand and dragged me to our first class. We had to sneak past our professor so he didn't know we came in late, although I'm pretty sure he noticed- as so did all the other pupils. And as so did the whole world...I'm pretty sure everyone heard the commotion right outside the school; the bus driver noticed we got off at the Ealing Art College stop and not the Hospital stop, he questioned us and Freddie just whisked me away- then the driver proceeded to shout and yell at us for making him rush and whatnot. Luckily we got in safe, at the risk of our dignity.
BRRRIIIIIINNNNGGGGGG!
There went the bell, we decided that we would skip the next study and have an early lunch- college was so much more relaxed than school, I'm glad I went.
[AT LUNCH WITH FREDDIE]
"What's that you're eating? It smells good," I questioned.
"Dick."
"Expected," I replied.
As I buried my face into my arms and slammed it on the table, Freddie started talking again, like the chatterbox he was.
"So...want to tell me what you were so deep in thought about earlier on the bus, dear?"
"I don't know..." I mumbled into my arm.
"I won't judge you darling! You know that, you're my friend and you can tell me anything." Said Freddie compassionately as he picked my head up to face him.
"Thanks, Freddie..." I whispered as I rubbed my red eyes tiredly and freshened up a bit, "I met this boy yesterday, I've just never felt a real, real connection to someone, but he...he was different. I was in the train alone and we clicked instantly...well at least I thought we did anyway. I missed my stop and he offered to walk me home since he lives in Harlow in Feltham and I live close in Bedfont. It was all going well until we got to my house and my little sister pushed me and made me kiss him. He awkwardly just walked off and I got so angry at my sister, I even made her cry. I just ran upstairs and cried and cried...over a boy I'd only known barely an hour. I was acting as if he was my husband. There's something wrong with me, Fred."
"Oh, honey, that sounds awful. I mean- yes, maybe you did get a bit attached to him, but I sympathise with you," replied Freddie.
"Ohhh, thank you so much for understanding Freddie."
"That's alright dear. We probably better head off to study now, we've missed enough as it is."
[4 HOURS LATER - 3PM]
Finally, time to go home and relax.
"Hey, Honor," said Freddie.
"Hm?" I replied.
"I'm going to imperial college at 8pm to see a band play. Wanna come with me?"
Oh shit. Oh fucking fuck fuck shit. I completely forgot that Brian asked me to come to imperial college to see him play! What do I do?
Freddie looked on at me in concern, "Are you okay? You seem a bit unsure dear. Are you coming or going?"
"Oh, I'm fine, I'm just a bit tired. I might see you there, but I don't need to come with you. Who knows? I might fall asleep at home, don't wait for me," I lied through my teeth.
"Alright, noted. Let's walk home now."
[AT HOME- 4PM]
I lay on my bed contemplating everything that had just happened in the last 24 hours - not even that. I was a hot mess. So many thoughts were rushing through my exhausted mind all at once, I wouldn't be surprised if my head burst; Do I go? What would Brian think of me...is it rude to see him after what just happened? Should we talk it out and make up? What do I wear? Does he even like me? Oh god.... Oh I'm so tired. I cant make any bloody...decisions...for...myself.....
RING! RING! RING! RING!

"Wh-what? Huh? What time is it?" I slurred, half asleep in an absolute mess. I had my hair in my mouth and everything. I went to answer the phone that had woken me up.
"Hello? Who is it?" I said.
"Hi darling, it's me, Freddie. I was just reminding you that you should probably start getting ready if you decided to go- it's 5:30pm and we're leaving in an hour."
"AN HOUR?!?" I screamed into the mouth piece of the telephone.
"Ouch! That hurt my ears!" Complained Freddie.
"Sorry, but an hour? I haven't even had a shower today, that's barely enough time to get ready!"
"I'm guessing you've decided to go and see the band, then?"
That hadn't even crossed my mind.
"What? Oh yeah- look- I don't know! Just go without me!" I hung up the phone in a flying rage and made my decision.
I was gonna go. I could maybe hide in the crowd, it's not like Brian would be looking for me anyway. Or would he? Fuck that, I was going and that was final. I jumped in the shower and in a flash I was out again, I thoroughly scanned my closet and picked out a nice, little, light coloured, mini flower- patterned dress and threw on a cardigan and platforms.
[6:00PM]
Shit! I've got half an hour to do my makeup and my hair and everything! I know this might probably sound disgusting, but I had slept in the makeup I had put on in the morning for college, so I decided to just leave it on and re-do the eye makeup... efficient, but if that wasn't going to cause a breakout I didn't know what was. Ok, ok, my hair was fixed and nice and fluffy, my makeup was okay, I was showered, dressed...did I forget anything..?
Jewellery! Luckily, I found my signature necklace, I loved its beautiful gold chain and the four-leafed clover charm, but, I seemed to have lost my earrings...oh well, it was 6:35pm, I was late as it was and I needed to leave NOW!
And sure enough, good old fashioned lover-boy Fred was at my door...and in those ridiculously tight satin trousers that always caught your eye on something... quite obvious. Oh Freddie...