her strawberry kisses
kaleia sat across from me on the picnic blanket with a strawberry in her hand, squinting as the sun beat down on her golden brown skin. i disregarded my slice of cake and decided to study her, my gaze gliding over her dark curls, the flower in her hair, the dress she decided to wear, the slight curves of her body. i'd realized i loved her soon after we met in one of our shared classes and became friends that winter.
"is there a bug on me?" her rough voice jolted me out of my trance and i looked up to meet her eyes.
"no, no," i decided to take a risk, "you look really pretty." her eyes widened as her face flushed red. kaleia knew i was bi, pan, gay, or whatever i felt fit me most that day. and i was pretty sure she was of the same persuasion, but she hardly talked about things like sexuality or romance when it pertained to her. she shoved the strawberry in her mouth before scooting around to face me, eyes trained on the ground.
"thank you," her voice was garbled as she tried to chew and talk at the same time, "um, actually soleil, i wanted to say something today." my heart dropped into my stomach, typically this was followed by something bad.
"oh- okay, what did you want to say?" i forced a smile, praying that this wouldn't be the end of our friendship.
"i'm in love with you." the words tumbled out of her, and she shot up standing far away from me. my jaw actually dropped for a second. imagine tom and jerry type theatrics.
i managed a laugh, "kaleia, why are you so nervous?" don't freak out, don't' freak out, don't freak out, don't freak out-
"because!" her voice was shrill now. i patted the spot next to me, motioning for her to sit back down.
she shook her head, "you've not answered." drawing out the last syllable.
i honestly didn't know how to articulate my feelings in that moment. i'd been wanting this for so long and when it finally came to it, i was lost.
"um-" my voice cracked and i gave up on answering verbally.
i stood up and took a step towards her, gently snaking my arms around her waist and pulling her close to me. i could feel the heat radiating from her skin and seeping into me. her hands alighted on my shoulders and i was finally able to find a couple words to accompany my actions.
"me too." her face lit up and then a sense of determination set in. kaleia leaned in and my lips met hers in the middle. my eyes flitted closed as her strawberry tinted lips brushed against mine. my mind was briefly transported back to my freshman year of high school: how long am i supposed to keep my eyes closed? should my lips be moving? am i supposed to use my- my tongue?!
thoughts from my first kiss - with a boy - flitted through my head as my now-girlfriend and i kissed each other for the first time. i suppose those thoughts came up because i figured it'd be exactly the same, just with a girl this time. it's kinda hilarious how wrong i was. if i had to explain it in one word i'd say it was much... softer. or comfortable.
i don't know how we got there but soon we were sitting on the picnic blanket, our lips moving with each other as if we were relaying some type of code. her hands ran over my body and i shivered at her touch. i couldn't differentiate if the heat was from the sun or us. i was always worried about doing the wrong thing so kaleia pretty much took the lead and i mimicked her actions. the taste of strawberries and cake remained in our mouths which made the kiss, quite literally, sweet. my fingers trailed up her throat and stopped at her chin, cradling her face as our kiss went on. after what seemed like an hour, or maybe just a few minutes, she pulled away, half smiling.
i smiled back.
"wow." that single word left our mouths simultaneously and we fell back laughing with the sun's glare in our eyes.
"we should stay like this forever." kaleia murmured.
i sighed and turned on my side with a little smile on my face, "we'll need someone to supply us with more strawberry cake, don't you think?"
her laugh filled the surrounding area, warming me more than the sun.
"i love you, kaleia."
"and i love you, soleil."
<3
