just friends? Arataki Itto x Reader

just friends?

A small sigh escaped your lips as you watched the sunset.You were a little nervous when you thought about the scenario that would unfold before you very soon. That wasn't going to be easy...

Like almost every night, once the sun was down, you heard familiar footsteps.

"Y/n!!", he called for you cheerfully as always as he burst in your home.

Even though, usually, you would have smiled and greeted him, that night, you just looked up to briefly meet his piercing red eyes, before you looked down again. Itto knew something was wrong the moment you just silently turned away and looked outside the window once more.

"What's wrong, huh?", he asked you right away, his much taller, wider frame now directly pressed against your small back.

His arms wanted to snuck around your waist, but alas, you stopped him before your courage to say it out loud would fade away. Itto was confused though, you had never pushed him away before.

"Itto, I... we...", you stuttered for a moment, because as you turned around to meet his eyes again, it felt hard to breathe and say it out loud, but you couldn't cave in.

Despite how cute he looked. That giant oni being taller by almost two and a half heads and yet, his confused face looked...cute. Itto really didn't understand why you were so different today.

"Itto, this, we...", finally, you managed to push him away from you to get some distance, "...we need to stop."

"Hah? What do you mean?!"

He didn't mean to yell, but for you to suddenly say that... It's as if someone stabbed him and kept on twisting the knife inside his wound over and over again.

"We can't do it anymore, Itto. I...", those next words were hard because they were all a lie, "I don't enjoy it anymore, you know? It's just... not satisfying, so why keep this up when only one of us gets to feel good? It's not fair for me, don't you think?"

"Ah...", for once, he was speechless.

It hurt. Because despite what you agreed on, a mere physical relationship to satisfy each other - after you caught him during that one incident that started it all - he felt so much more than that for you. Though, despite his inner wishful thinking that maybe, one day, you would fall for him too, it seemed like he had it all wrong from the start.

So, you weren't satisfied with him? You didn't enjoy yourself? Fuck...

"Itto, say something...please...", you barely breathed, because he just stared at you silently.

Your words helped him snap out of it though. Like always, he suddenly grinned. He wouldn't let you see how he truly felt. That's what he decided, but once he started, the grin faded, even though he tried so hard, "It's okay, Y/n! Of course, we agreed to make each other feel good, so if I can't do that anymore then we should just stop. I really... get it. I mean, I am so huge too, it probably hurt more than anything anyways, haha, and it's weird having to touch me in those places too, right? Hahaha... I mean it's pretty gross too, right? No other man would get turned by being touched there. I am an oni after all, we're already weird, so it's to be expected too, ahaha-"

The way he sheepishly scratched his neck and laughed nervously to try and keep you from seeing how he truly felt, had quite the opposite effect on you. It hurt to see him so obviously hurt as well. How he tried to justify for himself why oh why you would throw him away. Though it was all so untrue. He kept on talking nonsense, even though you shook your head and tried to stop him, he just kept going.

"Itto... Itto!", after you called his name several times to try and interrupt him from degrading himself any further, you just reached out your hands.

Your hands were so tiny compared to his, but the moment they softly touched his cheek, he stopped and bit his lip. Eyebrows furrowed as he lowered his gaze to look at you. He loved you so much and you would throw him away...