Pained

Metal claws scratched against metal, creating a disturbing and horrendous sound. The person’s jaws clenched, soon gripping at their head with their other hand, their breathing erratic. A state of panic was attacking them, unsure how to deal with these intense emotions. It caused them a pain they couldn’t handle.

“Eleazar? Eleazar!”

A man’s voice could be heard from the distance, Eleazar catching the voice, instantly knowing who it was. Silco. They started to move to sit on the ground, curling into themselves.
Silco walked to them, kneeling down to them. He placed his hands on Eleazar’s cheeks and moved their head upward slightly, but not too much to make it seem like he was forcing them to look at him. He knew they didn’t like to look at others at times, especially when facing mental turmoil.

Silco’s thumb rubbed their cheek, in an attempt to start calming them down. “Eleazar, it’s okay, I’m here now.”

Tears ran down Eleazar’s face, their eyes staring at the ground, too uncomfortable to look at anyone directly. They shifted their position and slumped into Silco’s embrace, gripping his clothes tightly, shaking intensely as they tried to relax.

The older man held his partner closely, bringing a hand to the back of their head, rubbing circles into them. “Such troubled minds are not easy to control… aren’t they.”

Eleazar finally looked up at Silco, eyes brought to thought. “No…” They rested their head on Silco’s chest, finally reaching a more relaxed state. “I-I’m sorry… I don’t mean for this to happen… the s-silence got so loud…”

Silco looked down at them, bringing a hand to their cheek again. “There is no need to apologize for something you cannot control.” He lightly kissed their forehead. “The chaos your head contains needs control, and you are able to get this control from me, you don’t have to figure it out alone. I will help you control this chaos.”

Eleazar gave a slight smile, comforted by Silco’s words. A mind that was already different from others and became affected by the chemical alterations they had to go through, was a mind harboring too much to handle. They had a horrible lack of self control, and Silco was the only stable presence in their life that contained and helped control them when it was needed.

“Let’s go to my office, somewhere more comfortable.” Silco got up, bringing Eleazar with him.
“Is the bar busy?”

“Mm… somewhat. Why?”

“I like the muffled sounds of music and people conversing while in your office…”

Silco let out a small chuckle. “Good to know.” He found the little things Eleazar liked charming.

---

Silco brought Eleazar to the couch in his office, laying down and bringing them with him. His partner laid on top of him, resting their head on his chest, and Silco putting his arms around them.

“You’re brilliant Eleazar. A person unlike anything I’ve seen before. I find you charming in all the unique little things you do.” A small smile was brought to his lips. “I love you.”

Eleazar nuzzled into his chest, looking up at him and smiling softly. “And I love you too.” They let out a bit of an excited laugh, squirming from happiness. They grew much more comfortable in Silco’s office, their senses being enveloped by the familiar smell, the muffled noise of the bar, and Silco’s presence in general. Their favorite place to be would always be Silco’s office. Eleazar felt their best in Silco’s office. Like a peace of mind they didn’t feel anywhere else.

Silco brought a hand to the back of their head to rub in the comforting circles Eleazar loved. Unlike earlier, it caused them to melt in Silco’s hold.

“Sometimes you remind me of a pet.”

“Is this a good thing or a bad thing?”

“Mm… it’s a good thing. It’s quite cute, really.”

Eleazar nuzzled into Silco’s chest again, happy to hear these words. Praise from him felt so good to hear, they always wanted more.

Silco gestured for Eleazar to move closer to him, his partner quick to follow his command. Their faces met and Silco’s hand weaved through Eleazar’s blue-gray hair, gently moving them downwards into a kiss. Eleazar’s chest grew a strange yet pleasing feeling from this kiss. This feeling always occurred when such actions were done between them, sometimes even growing more intense in other areas. Though this time, it was just sweet and comforting.

When they parted, Eleazar rested their head into the crook of Silco’s neck, continuing to nuzzle into him.

Silco looked over at his partner. “If you ever find yourself alone again, especially somewhere quiet, please don’t hesitate to come here. I know it can be difficult to do much in those situations, but if you’re able to before things get too intense, it would be best. Don’t worry about if I’m in any meetings. Just slide in here, quietly if you need to. I’ll come to your aid when I can.”

Eleazar looked away for a moment before looking into Silco’s eyes, nodding gently. “I’ll try my best. I don’t know if it’ll happen very much, but I’ll still attempt to do so when I can. It’s not fun to go through these episodes. It just hurts my head. I would prefer to avoid them as much as possible.” They moved back to the crook of Silco’s neck, removing their previous eye contact. “I know I have a creative and brilliant mind, but at the same time, I’m bound by the damages brought to it throughout my life.” They hug Silco. “But as long as you’re here, it’s not as much of an issue as it once was. You’re the control in my life I needed.”

Silco gave another gentle smile, moving his hand through his partner’s soft hair. “I’m glad to be that for you.”

Eleazar smiled for a moment before the comfort of being in Silco’s arm got them to a point of drifting to sleep. A somewhat common occurrence for them to fall asleep easily, as they stayed up late often. Technically, Silco still had some work to do, but it wouldn’t hurt to take a small nap with his partner for a while.