more than i can hold in my heart.

you're in her dms (im in her)

Her heart hadn’t stopped pounding in her chest. And it was in a really not good way.

Miranda stood there in front of her hospital, staring where her resident had fled after he kissed her.

Okay, she still hadn’t been able to wrap her head around that.

She reached up to touch her lips. She had not kissed anybody else since she and Ben got back together all those years ago, and she was certainly not happy that her lips had just been on someone else’s.

Almost half an hour passed, and her phone vibrated in her bag. Her hands shook as she opened Ben’s text message.

You home yet? I’m picking up a burger from Cal’s. Want some?

Miranda inhaled sharply. How was she going to explain this to Ben? He had been carefree when he found out about Jordan’s apparent interest in her, just as she had been with that blonde woman during Thanksgiving, but that was because they’d spent almost a decade loving each other and they knew where they stood. They both trusted each other enough not to let anything happen.

Leaving the hospital now. And yes, you know what I like.

She took a deep breath, putting her hands in front of her, reminding herself that he came on to her, and it was not her fault.

A voice inside her mind told her she’d been too suggestive, but she shook it away.

Coming home to Ben was nerve-wracking, something she hadn’t experienced in a long time. Her gut curled, telling her that she’d have to tell Ben. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back as she sat on her driveway.

Memories of Tucker cheating emotionally drifted over her head, and she remembered that she’d been so angry and hurt by his actions. What would Ben think?

She let out a shaky breath, and opened the car door. She crossed the porch and opened the door to her house.

The lights were on in the kitchen and she smiled softly seeing Ben’s head pop up. “Hey, baby,” he greeted. He walked to her, leaning down to kiss her, and she held out her hand to his chest, stopping him. He frowned. “Is everything okay?”

Miranda didn’t answer him. She moved and climbed the stairs, the sudden need to clean herself impossible to ignore. Ben called after her, and she could hear his footsteps behind her, struggling to catch up to her as she opened their bedroom door.

The world around her tilted, and she opened the door to their bathroom, crouching down to let her guts out on the toilet.

“Miranda!” Ben’s voice was behind her, but she felt like he was speaking to her while she was underwater. His voice was muffled and she cried softly.

She felt his arms around her, and his lips were on her hair, murmuring words she couldn’t understand.

“Baby? Baby, hey.” He looked down at her, and wiped her tears. He scanned her face worriedly, and she sniffled. “C’mon, let’s get your face cleaned.”

He helped her up, but she grabbed his hands, intertwining their fingers. “No. I just need to brush my teeth.” Ben frowned and opened his mouth to protest. “It’s okay. I got it.”

The expression on his face was one that told her that they were going to talk about it after, and she nodded. She watched him close the bathroom door behind him, and she turned to look at the mirror, unsure what she would say to him.

She cleaned her face up, and flushed her vomit down the drain. She brushed her teeth slowly and carefully, her mind rewinding that brief second that Jordan placed his lips on hers. She shuddered.