Servent's desire

One

"1815, September 14th"
Blood urging from my stomach now forcing to spurt out through my swollen lips. "September14th." Todays date will forever be carved in my memory ever so vividly, or maybe just for another few seconds..."September 14th"  I now envision the date being scratched uncomfortably on to a tomb, right below my name... "Danmi" That thought never seemed to frighten me, till now...when that imagery is only a mere moment away.. This inhumane winter night grew colder , just as the many bodies of brave soldiers that lie around me, dead. Icy breeze now arrowed through my lungs, piercing the fatigued inside. Suffocating me. Vision now a haze..a mere blur... I felt frostbites crawling up my feet as my rough skin began to cripple... and bleed. Have I been left to die? This isn't how I envisioned my death, not in the slightest. It's not this wound that grew bigger and bloodier, threatening to kill me, no! It is this humiliation... In this bloodied battle field, I die as a humiliating failure. I die a meaningless death, just like "kundalakeshi" did. They were all right about me... my long hair wasn't the only reason for that haunting nickname. I remember longing for death when I heard it... or the death of those who shoved it down my throat. I wished for death day to come for the last 20 years of my  meaningless life... I longed to be free..but this is...this is not how I wanted it..this isn't how I wanted to die...I wanted to die..after getting my revenge...on the one I saved tonight..