Romeo and Paris ("Romeo and Juliet" rewrite for comedic purposes)

Act 1: scene 2

Days had passed and Romeo still was in mourning of his rejection from dear Rosalind. He sat upon his bed, legs curled close up to his chest so that his face rested cupped upon his knees. He remained in a cold silence as he pondered his emotions and desires.

Rosalind. She was beautiful, the kind that makes one's heart flutter upon first notice of her beautifully feminine form. She had curled, platinum blonde locks of hair elegantly flowing from her so that they outlined her gorgeous facial frame neatly. Her eyes were a shade of deep sienna so smooth and enrapturing that no man, nor any woman, could resist them and their charm. She had a certain gentle kindness that radiated from her like a brilliant gem. It was difficult to word exactly how she smiled, but it was easily clever, carefully flirtatious, and instilled in one a sense of complete confidence, false or not.

Romeo naturally couldn't resist her. Since the moment he set eyes on her, he believed that she was the one for him and that there would be no other in his life. How ironic.

Romeo sat and thought this over, ruminating as he racked his mind for any possible idea of where to go with his life. He was in a mood, seeing as he was overwhelmed by the conflicts of his family and of Rosalind's, trying to decipher whether or not he would move on and search for new love or stay strong and loyal to the veil of Rosalind's false sense of care for him. He really didn't know.

Suddenly, his door was thrown open and from it walked out his dear cousin Benvolio. As he entered deeper into the room, Benvolio felt a cold darkness wash over him from the lack of light in the area.

"Romeo, thou shalt lightest a lamp in this moment." Proclaimed Benvolio arrogantly. "Thou cans't barely see in this lighting."

Romeo said nothing, but instead shifted his gaze more properly towards his window as his cousin lit the singular lamp contained in his room. Light then flooded through, flushing the remaining darkness out of his room.

"Now remind me, cousin, what is it that troubles thou so? Is it, perchance, a girl?" Questioned Benvolio. Romeo hated when he did this. He was ashamed of the fact that it was someone, let alone it being a girl as petty yet popular as Rosalind. It was a stupid reason for one to be sad, and to assume that it was over a person was presumably worse. Romeo just wanted to be alone.

"It may be none of your business. But..." Romeo sighed. "It's.. well it's Rosalind. She's rejected my offer of intimacy. She loves me not. " Benvolio looked down upon Romeo, who had lifted his head to see his cousin's face better. Benvolio seemed annoyed at Romeo for not regulating his own emotions well. He sighed at last.

"The Capulets are throwing a sort of party, stupid, I know. " He said. ,"However Rosalind will be there and if thou art looking for a good time, I'm thinking you could go 'crash' it."

Romeo's eyes lit up. He was pondering this, as it would be a good way to move on, which he was in dire need of doing. He at last drew a conclusion. "I will go. " He said with a heavy tone. " At the cost of my pride, happiness, and potentially life, I will go."

And so it was decided that he would attend the party, presumably alone and see what could come of it.

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A/N this chapter was written by LemonsAndGay, please excuse the bad grammar, I don't do this very often so it was a bit difficult.