Always and Forever

Right Person, Wrong Time

I'm staring at the phone waiting for him to pick up. As each ring of the phone goes by I get more and more angry. Finally, on the fifth ring he picks up. "Ya Teja"

Here I am losing my mind and he's so nonchalant. "Karan that's all you have to say is 'Ya Teja'? Where are you? Mumma told me you're not here yet"

He sighs into the phone. "I promise I'm almost there."

I pull the phone away from my ear and double-check the time. "You should've been here an hour ago."

"I know but they sent me out to grab a few things"

What the hell? What am I going to do with this man? "On the day of the wedding, why did they send you to grab things? Anyone else could've gone"

"Everyone was busy and it was supposed to be a short drive but they didn't have what they needed at the store nearby so I ended up driving further away"

"Why did you even agree? Anyways leave it. How many minutes away are you?"

"Just ten minutes. Are you done getting ready?"

"I wish you were here to help but ya I'm almost done. I feel like I look a little chubby with this lengha on though. I should've watched what I ate-"

"Shut up. I know you look beautiful okay. Oh did your friends get to your suite yet?"

I look around and everyone's involved in their own conversions. "Ya they're here but it's not helping. It's so crowded and I'm starting to feel anxious."

"Shush. Take a breath and tell me what's wrong"

"I don't know. I just feel unsettled and it doesn't help knowing you're not even here yet"

He sighs into the phone again. "Teja. I told you I'm not far. I promise I'm almost there. Now for the first part, you're not going to run away from the mandap are you?"

I know he's trying to make me laugh but it doesn't help. "Ugh shut up. I just feel like nervous maybe?"

He softly explains, "That's fine then Teja. It's normal but what's to be nervous about? Everything will be alright. There are so many people here to take care of any issues. You just focus on yourself"

I let his words register and feel a little more relaxed. "Okay thank you. Come quickly"

"I promise I'm almost there. Couldn't miss my best friend's wedding."

"See you soon" and with that, I hang up. Yes, Karan Kundrra my best friend of the last five years. It's funny because the majority of those five years I imagined him to be the one I would be marrying. After years of pining over him though I realized he was never going to see me the same way. He loves me, I know that, but just not the way I need him to.

I try to not let myself get disappointed but it's hard. I built up this dream with him in my head and it's weird knowing that dream will never come true. Nothing hurts worse than unrequited love and I needed to move on from Karan. Last year I met Nikhil and he was completely different from Karan.

Nikhil was more serious and focused but I needed someone like that. He never backed away from his feelings for me and I know he loves me and I love him. Maybe not the degree to which I loved Karan but I think that was me loving enough for both of us. He ticks off all the boxes I had for my future husband: smart, grounded, dedicated, patient, calm. The perfect man. I'm happy with this, trust me.

I look over into the mirror in the vanity and feel so weird seeing this person. I'd always thought I'd be getting married someday but seeing myself ready is a different story. A tear slips out of the corner of my eye and I wipe it away promising myself that this is the last tear for today. I don't even know why I'm crying but maybe it's that I know so much is going to change. I'll be busy with my new life with my husband. Husband... that still sounds so weird to say. By the end of today, I'll be starting a new chapter.