Home is not a house- alternative scenes

Chapter 20/ Tubbo attempt

Tw for this chapter: Past Suicide, Past attempts, Flushing pills, breakdown and blood

"I meant it like it takes so much of me every time I stop a suicide!" Tubbo was yelling at Ranboo.
Ranboo took a deep breath. He knew Tubbo was just trying to get through his emotions, but he hated it when Tubbo yelled.

"I didn't ask you to save me." Ranboo spat out, venom in his voice. Tubbo had to hide his hurt in that moment, of course Tubbo was going to save Ranboo, they were brothers. Like it or not, Tubbo was going to save him every chance he got.

"But I had to! I had to save you and I had to save Tommy!" Tubbo screamed. Ranboo stared forward at him before saying something he knew was bad.

"Well you couldn't fucking save Liam!" Ranboo shouted, and he realized what he said after he said it. That hurt Tubbo even more, but Tubbo knew how to hurt him too.

"Well you didn't either! You fucked up just as much as me! At least I've saved people!" Tubbo shouted at him.

"WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN!" Ranboo was furious and hurt now.

"WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO YOUR DAD RANBOO?" Tubbo shouted, and it was a low blow. A way too low blow. They both knew it, and Ranboo was shutting down now. His brain was basically turning off so it would protect itself, just go numb so you don't feel anything.

"I'm going to bed." Ranboo mumbled and he moved to walk out of the kitchen.

"No, Boo, please wait." Tubbo tried to stop him, and he grabbed Ranboo's arm to make him stop. Ranboo stared at him.

"You're right, I don't save people. You do. Feel better now?" Ranboo says lowly, and Tubbo let go of his hand. Ranboo kept walking till he got to his room, and Tubbo knew it was his room and not Tubbo's, where they usually both slept.

Tubbo heard the soft click of the door, and the thud of Ranboo sliding down the door. He was unlucky the walls were so thin, because he heard Ranboo sob.
Ranboo was sobbing and Tubbo was shaking. Why he was shaking out of anger or something else he wasn't sure he knew the answer to.

Tubbo did know that this was a panic attack, something he hadn't gone through in a while. The meds were supposed to help this, but to be fair when was the last time he took them? He needed them but at what cost?

He hated the feeling of being on them, hated the way his brain felt. But they were supposed to make things better.

Tubbo ran upstairs, to the bathroom and he closed the door. He scrambled for the medicine he had neglected for way too long. He opened the bottle and stared at the contents, no he couldn't do that again.
These were the pills that killed Liam. Of course not these exact ones, but this type of pill is what killed him. Liam had raided the cabinet, and he had found Tubbo's pills.

Ranboo in the next room over heard Tubbo run into the bathroom and close the door quickly. That made Ranboo's brain go from shut off to anxious and he jumped up, turning around to go to the bathroom door as quick as he could.

Tubbo stared at the pills more until he heard Ranboo's door opened. He panicked and Tubbo turned to the toilet and dumped the pills right in. There was a knock before the door opened, Ranboo watching as Tubbo flushed the toilet.

"Tubbo! Tubbo, no!" Ranboo said but it was too late, they were gone. "No, Tubbo, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything, but you didn't have to flush your pills." Ranboo said, reaching out for Tubbo. As soon as Ranboo touched Tubbo he began to bawl.

Maybe it was the panic attack, maybe it was his overwhelming thoughts, maybe it was a mix of both, but Tubbo cried hard.

"I fucking killed him, I fucking killed him, I fucking killed him. It should have been me, all the time it should have been me!" Tubbo yelled, Ranboo embraced him fully and brought them down to the floor. Tubbo felt his back touch the tub, he was sitting the same way they found Liam.

"Tubbo." Ranboo began softly, trying to help sooth Tubbo. Normally it would work, but with how Tubbo was sitting nothing would help him now. He knew how he was fucking sitting and that was doing nothing but making his brain go crazy.

"No no no no no no no NO! NO! NO!" Tubbo began screaming and kicking, like a child having a tantrum. But this time it was a teenager having a breakdown after flushing his pills.

"Tubbo please focus on my voice." Ranboo said, doing what usually helped. It was a useless attempt though.

"NO NO NO NO LET ME FUCKING DIE, I WANT TO FUCKING DIE THIS TIME, I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE SO LET ME DIE" Tubbo screamed, still flailing in Ranboo's arms. He would not stop moving, but even when he began to claw at Ranboo, punching and kicking to get out of his grip, Ranboo tried not to get hurt as he did this.

It pained him to hear what was being said, but knew that it wasn't true, it was fully Tubbo talking.
Tubbo continued to scream and hurt Ranboo, Ranboo doing nothing but taking it. He was kind of glad that their parents weren't home, they would probably hear what was happening and send Tubbo off to the mental ward.

"Ranboo, I am asking you as my brother to let me die!" Tubbo sobbed loudly, clawing at Ranboo's arm. It began to bleed and Ranboo flinched at the blood falling down his arm.

"I'm not letting you fucking die Tubbo." Ranboo said as tears fell. He wouldn't let Tubbo go too.

Word count: 1000