"Lost in Love"

Chapter 1: This is Park Jimin

[Jimin]

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"It's getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes!"

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I wondered if Nelly really knew what an anthem and norm he started when he created that line in his song, 'Hot In Herre'. Even though the DJ was belting out the instructions from the rapper to the crowd, I was ready to 'Get the Hell outta herre...' Especially when I saw the lips of someone who meant something special to me on the lips of another. Why was he doing that? Amanda being the noisemaker that she is, was in front of me screaming and shouting out with the other party goers as I walked out into the yard in front of my best friend Tae's house. This house pool party sucked just like all the others. Just jocks and cheerleaders drinking, dancing, smoking and seriously making out. But why was he making out with her? This wasn't like him at all. I literally froze and I think my heart stopped after seeing the scene in front of me.

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I was walking out the house with Amanda, a female college student and friend of Tae's really, who had stuck herself on my arm. She was one of the girls I knew who just happened to be very clingy. I tolerated being around her because she seemed happy when she saw me or when she was around me. I like it when people were happy especially if I was the one making them feel that way. Even if deep down I myself wasn't really happy, the joy I brought to the many people who had admired me, my work and my dedication to our school should be enough. Or was it? I already knew the answer to that question. I wasn't really happy. I was just satisfied and content bringing joy to others. But was he happy kissing her? Sometimes I wished I wasn't the person I was so I could just scream out all my pain and I felt like doing that right now.

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I was very popular in high school and now in university. It was a role I had grown accustomed to and it helped me make the transition from teenage to young adult manageable. Maybe it was because my father was a big shot director in the movie industry and my big brother, Jin and I lived in the lap of luxury. Or maybe it was the traumas we had faced and the coping mechanisms we developed to overcome them. Very early in his career, my dad, the now very popular Park Joo-Won, started his movie industry very small. It was just a tiny studio where he made advertisements and a few shorts but through his talent and dedicated ambition he was able to make it big. When he made a biopic on his life from his native country of South Korea to his migration to the United States, he met my mother the famous American celebrity Lily Thomas. She admired his work and they hit it off immediately. My dad then became the famous boyfriend of actress, singer and dancer Miss Thomas. He moved his small studio into the Hollywood arena.

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When my dad's fourth documentary, "The Earth Below", won an Oscar, it was after this wonderful feat that he and my mother, who narrated for the award winning film, secretly got married. They were actually successful at keeping their private lives, private. There were issues with paparazzi and strange fanatics so they kept their lives shielded including their children. After a month long and wild honeymoon my brother Jin-Won was born nine months after. I came one year later. My sister, Jane was born two years after me but was taken back to heaven at the age of six: Leukaemia. My mother, who right after giving birth to Jane decided to get a hysterectomy thinking that she was over with her baby making days, was totally distraught when Jane died. We thought she was blessed that she still had us boys but nothing could fill the gap of not just losing her child but her only daughter. To make matters worse, because of her decision to take out her womb and ovaries, it was now impossible for her to have any more children. She cried for days and weeks. When it was close to a month of utter mourning, my dad decided to take an entire year off from work and dedicated to making my mom get better.