Alice Beyond Memories

The calling in my head

- Alice darling...
- Yes mom? - Alice turned her tired sight from the documents and looked to the side where the voice was coming from. The silhouette standing in the doorway to her cabin was a bit blurry. She blinked quickly a few times to chase away the fatigue.
- We are about to reach the seaport.
- Oh so it's that late already? - She looked through the window at an endless blue ocean. She sighed. - I'll be there in a moment. This time I want to keep an eye on everything personally.
- They are so young Alice and last time was their first such long voyage. They will act properly this time I'm sure.
- Despite that I want to check on them myself. - she closed this very thick account book and got up languidly.
For the past seven years those long expeditions in which her mother was more and more often accompanied were her whole world.
Running her own company happened to be quite a challenge. There were so many things to remember, check on bills, prices, fleet state, sailors, security of trade routes. As time passed, she spent fewer and fewer days staring at the magical depths of the sea, the blue of which reminded her of something. Something unusual, something that happened a long time ago, as if in another life. The thought flashed through her mind again as the sea breeze touched her skin. However, as soon as it fired, it went out under the pressure of the captain's duties.
Everything was going as smoothly as she could wish for. On the shore one could already see a large crowd of people awaiting the return of their loved ones. Alice bade farewell to her sailors with a smile and a nod. After the last of them had left the deck, she gathered her belongings and headed for the building with her name written in blue letters above the entrance.
- Miss Kingsleigh!
- Mister Wicky.
The slim, tall man bowed to her with an elegant  top hat in his hand.
- Boys will get to work immediately and unload all the goods within a few hours. Several recipients have been waiting here since morning, hoping to get the best batch possible. In your absence, we were able to repair the damage in Globetrotter and with a very satisfactory profit sell the goods brought by the crew of the Sea Breeze. I also wish to mention that… Ekhm Miss Kingsleigh?
Alice looked away from the elegant black top hat and looked at her interlocutor. Was she trying to say something? What has she forgotten about?
- Is anything wrong?
- No, I mean... It's just tiredness. Can we discuss it tomorrow?
- Of course, Miss Kingsleigh. Please forgive me. I wish you a good night.
- Good night, Mr. Wicky.
Boots rattled on the cobbled port streets and Mr. Wicky began to disappear in the shadows of the numerous crates and surrounding buildings.
- Mr. Wicky!
She seemed no less surprised by her voice than the gentleman she was calling. He stopped waiting for what his employer is about to say.
- Have you ever thought about buying a more colorful headgear? Isn't the black color too sad for such beautiful summer evenings?
Wicky looked a bit confused. Instinctively adjusted his top hat and approached Alice again.
I fear, dear Miss Kingsleigh, that the artisans here prefer a rather safe, low-key color scheme.
- Oh of course I understand. Goodnight, sir.
- Good night, Miss Kingsleigh.
He smiled gently at her. She smiled back and walked over to the building rising in front of her. It was pleasantly cool inside, dinner and a glass of wine were waiting on the table.
- Welcome my dear. - a man voice surprised her the second she closed the door.
- William.
He kissed her hand, lightly brushed her cheek. She smiled at him and let him lead herself to the table - Where's my mother?
- I sent her home in my carriage. She was no less tired than you, my dear.
- Yes, it was a long voyage, and the first summer storms did not make our journey  any easier.
- It's good that you came back safe and sound.
- How are your interests? - She lifted a small bite to her mouth and for a moment savoring a taste she had not been able to taste in weeks.
- Everything's  as good as it can be. Last year's wine turned out to be really delicious. Try it yourself.
He handed her a glass of cool, dark red wine. Alice raised her glass to her lips and took a small sip. Pleasant sweetness and fruity aroma melted on her palate.
- Mmm delicious!
-I 'm glad it tastes good. It is also to receive a very unique name.
- Really?
- Of course. Such a unique wine should bear a unique name. How about the Blue Queen? Or Blue Alice? The fork Alice was holding tapped against the plate. It was only a small murmur, but in the silence that fell in the room it seemed to be  a thunder. Queen.
- The white queen… ” - Alice's voice was only a whisper.
- Not my dear, not white, but blue. Just like you. My queen.
Alice shook off her vague thoughts and looked at William.
-I  do not understand…
- Alice. It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that we've been together for five years. Yes, you spent most of that time traveling, but every time you came back I was waiting for you with longing. Now, I want you to become a part of my life more than ever, and there is nothing I wish more than to become a permanent part of yours.
- William, I… I'm sorry, I'm so tired and surprised.  - she rubbed her temples and looked away.
- Ah naturally my dear. I wasn't going to talk about it today, but seeing you made it hard to resist. Forgive me.
-  It's fine. Is my carriage ready? I need to get some sleep.
-  I will check on it. Finish up the wine. You'll sleep better.
She heard some voices when he was talking to the coachman and then  came back to helpe her reach the carriage. He kissed her hand goodbye looking deep into her eyes and placed her safely in the carriage. The horses moved gently, and after a while the steady swaying began to soothe Alice's tense nerves. Thousands of words flashed through her head without forming any particular whole. William, queen, white, red, ship, sea, blue, top hat, her father, wine, bottle, words ... so many words. She rubbed her temples again. Pain was coming  in and out like the ticking of a clock. Clock. Time. She sighed aloud as the carriage came to a halt. The servant opened the carriage door, and she was home again. The soothing sight made her smile fully sincerely for the first time that evening. She headed straight to her rooms and took a long bath. Thoughts slowly flew from her head, bringing relief. When she was in bed, the night finally seemed to give a little breath from the ubiquitous heat. With it the intrusive thoughts drifted away, and the longed-for dream came to her.

S

he made her way through a garden full of flowers that would tower over any structure in the city. Huge butterflies with multi-colored wings looked at her curiously, sitting on the leaves that she passed. The path meandered, twisted abruptly, descended and went down in a completely unpredictable manner. From time to time it seemed that there were white rabbits running through the thicket, but as soon as she tried to focus on them, they disappeared like a fog. She also heard a whisper. The whisper of many voices, all repeating her name over and over again. The farther she went, the path seemed darker and darker and more hidden in the shadows. The red eyes of unknown beings flashed all around her. It was getting quieter, colder and scarier.
- Alice...

She woke up with a pounding heart and a cold sweat on her forehead. The sun was gently tinting the sky with its first rays. She went to the mirror and studied her reflection. She looked unfamiliar in her own eyes. The spark that was inside her once faded out. She felt that something was missing, as if she had lost a part of herself that constituted her essence.
There was a portrait of her father on the desk. His words, assurances, and advices always rang in her head. She wanted him so bad to be proud of her every day.
- If only you could be here father. You would help me find myself I know that.
Alice hugged the portrait to her heart . 
The thoughts returned to her  stronger and louder then before. So many thoughts, so many unrelated words and images flitted through her mind.
- Alice ...
The whisper seemed to come from right behind her. She turned abruptly, but the room was completely empty. She shivered.
- Calm down, Alice. It's impossible.
Taking a deep breath, she headed for the door. There were many things she had to face today, and none of them seemed simple.