Butters- Trauma

Unforgettable past

.BUTTERS POV. (He is 12-13 in this)
[555 words - this]
My eyes burn as I slowly wake up in a cold environment, my head is aching and I'm confused and scared.

"W-where am I" I whisper to myself
"Your home Butters and your grounded your hear me young man!" My dad yelled
A long pause
"Oh hamburgers what did I do this time"
I frowned head still aching
"You know exactly what you did sneaking into my cuborn of special juice [Alcohol]"
He yelled irritated and disappointed
"Oh, I'm sorry sir it'll never happen again."
I said reluctant of the aching and the uncomfortable situation
"Go take a shower young man you reak of urine and wretch of alcohol." He said slapping my cheek and walking off

It stung...

(NOT SEXUAL)
I take off my shirt and pants putting them in the dirty laundry I look in the mirror staring at my unwanted wretched body, all the scars the memories the thoughts.

(CUTTING, BLOOD, DRUG USAGE)

I silently cry to myself and hold myself
'Your so alone'
'Worthless'
'Usless'
'Dissapointing'
'Do it.'
My mind repeats that one word 'Do it'.

I grabbed the razor and swiftly sliced one line into my thigh
'That won't do it, do more'
He said.
Again, the first cut starts to bleed as the new one drips a bit faster
'Harder'
'Another'
Another but this time harder.
It bleeds faster and is a lot more larger then the others , another then another then more again repeat another more another again. I finally stop... ten leaky cuts on my thigh they will stay there forever I will never forget them...
I hop in the shower and watch the bloody water go down the drain, it burns...

''I'm sorry''
Is all I can whisper to myself

                            20 minutes pass
I get out and dry myself one cut still bleeding and the rest swells up
I grab ointment from the medicine cabinet and lather my cuts with it and spot something
A pill bottle...

(SUICIDE THOUGHTS)
'Take them...overdose at school make your parents regret.'
No
I shake my head but I glare at the pills now aching to get a tastes

' ' 5- HTP Stotch, Stephen
---- 2 times a day---------
--------------------------- ' '

I grabbed them taking two and swiftly put em back and run out the bathroom to retrieve my clothes.

I put on my underwear they had hello kitty all over them I still haven't got over my obsession of hello kitty, I then put on my long sleeved turquoise sweater and put on tight green jeans... it hurts,

I chuckle

I get my homework and my booking, computer, books and get ready to leave I put on a plain grey jacket over my sweater and put on my bookbag and go downstairs

My mother greets me with a smile and buttered toast I happily accept them and return the smile and leave for the bus.

As I walk to the bus stop I see my friends Kenny, Stab, Kyle and of course Cartman
Kenny is in the street while him and Stan laugh at something Kyle said and Cartman yells at him as always I wave at them and shout

"Hey fellas!"

"BUTTERS THEYRE BEING FAGGY AND RUDE"

I chuckle but stop when seeing the bus come hit Kenny

I scream and wake up.