Chaos amongst the chaos

You know who it is...

Connors pov:

Connor felt like the air was made of mud, so thick and suffocating. He nearly managed to stumble into the room.

He quickly closed the door, hoping no one saw where he went... 

the air was still and cool, a wonderful feeling on his hot skin. He could still hear the music from the other room, muffled and quiet, but audible nonetheless. He slid down the wall as he pretended to ignore the tears obviously flowing down his face. He put his cold hand on his forehead trying to cool himself down, trying desperately to make sense of the events that just occurred. 

It's honestly so strange how even if his whole body felt like it was burning and ready to melt at any moment, his hands stayed frigid.

As he sat on the floor, his back to the wall, he just looked at the ceiling, mind wandering to as many places that it felt like it was going nowhere, thinking so many things it felt like he wasn't thinking at all. He tried to grasp at his thoughts, to catch them all and then organize them, maybe then he could understand what happened... Like a child trying to grab the balloon, it accidentally let go of as it slowly flies away from its grasp, he felt hopeless. The only thought that he could muster up and make sense of was

"I shouldn't have done that-" He said the words, not intending anyone but god himself to hear.

"fuck, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" Who was he apologizing to? Nina? Liam? himself? Why was he apologizing? 

It's all so blurry... What even happened?

*le flashback, cuz I'm lazy and idk how to do transitions*

~Connor walked into the house. The moment he opened the door the previously muffled sounds that vaguely sounded like music, exploded in his eardrums. It was semy dark with an odd purple light coming from seemingly nowhere as bright party lights and confetti flew in the air like fairies.

he looked forward and saw a large group of people he recognized as his friends and acquaintances. All of them doing their own thing. Then all of a sudden he felt a hand wrap around his shoulder.

"CONNORRRRR! THE KING IS HERE! how you doing man?!" Liam basically screamed, trying to be understood over the loud music.

"YOOO! fucking grate man, how else?" Connor responded as they clapped their hands together into the weird handshake clap thing guys do as a greeting. His hands felt warm and soft, opposed to Connors permanently chapped and cold ones. He focused on their hands a bit, then he looked up at Liam who turned away from him the moment Connor looked up. They let go of each other.

Connor lingered on this moment for a while longer. it was no longer than a couple of seconds, but it felt like it was supposed to be a lot longer, like both of them wanted to stay like that for more than a little.

Before he could fully process his emotions he was greeted with the shouts and greetings of the others at the party.

"Bit late arent you?" a somewhat sarcastic voice said from one of the tables.

"I'm always late, it's in fashion nowadays, didn't you know?" 

"Yeah Mihaela, he's not late he's FASHIONABLY late," Liam explained in a mocking tone.

"hello by the way!" Connor walked towards the tables holding a hand out for another one of those high five, hand squeeze handshake things.  First to the blond girl known as Ruby, then to the slightly taller brown-haired one who was still looking at Liam as if she was ready to throw down at any moment. Mihaela did not know how to respond to the weird hand squeeze greeting, she never could get the hang of it, so she just very awkwardly shook Connors's hand twisting both of their wrists in the most mildly uncomfortable way possible.

"how long have you two been here? And where is Brennan? yall are always in your little group."

"Eeeeeh... around like an hour and a half?" Ruby looked over to Mihaela for confirmation, but Mihaela was too busy not paying any attention to the conversation. "Brenan is over there playing earn to die with Jay." Ruby pointed with her head towards the corner where Brennan and Jay were sitting slouched over a phone.

"Tell those two to top being outcasts and actually go dance or something if they know what's good for them," Connor said in a joking tone.

"Hah, sure! i think I'm gonna go myself" She said standing up "Mihaela, come on let's go!" "Huh, what?" Ruby started pulling at Mihaela's sleeve, all the while Mihaela looked as if she had just fallen from Mars.

Connor and Liam walked away from the tables and walked towards the big group of guys. "YOOO, YOU FINALLY CAME!" "THERE HE IS!" "CONNORR!" a bunch of different voices shouted as they all high five him and did the handshake whatever it called fuck idk man my back hurts and i really wanna write this but im really awkward at describing how normal human interactions go down fuuuuuuuuucckkkkkkkkk.

(im gonna skip the small talk with the dudebros cuz i can't be bothered) 

"Oh yeah, by the way, the drinks are over there!" Liam pointed over under one of the tables with his cigarette "Thanx man!" Connor responded hurrying to the drinks.

Connor grabbed a bottle of bear and opened it with his teeth, a really cool party trick he learned from his grandpa.  

HNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG I RAN OUT OF MOTIVATION AAAAAAAAAAGH ILL CONTINUE WRITING THIS TOMORROW. SKSKSKSKKSKSKKS wtf am i doing.

i hope u like this ana :D more crack and general bullshittery to come in the next updates/chapters. tell me if there's a ship you want to see happen