Fascination

Chapter One

Do you understand how upset a person has to be if they willingly take a sharp object to their wrist? It's not a very good feeling, you know. Sometimes you don't feel anything and other times you feel everything. I feel as if no one loves me or needs me here. No one understands. My mother wants me to go to a counselor but what's the use of that? I'm homosexual. That's the only reason she wants me to. All because her son won't be having children in the future. But that shouldn't even matter. It's my life, not hers. If I really so want children in the future I will find a way but right now that is not my concern.

I'm only 18, why does it matter now? My name is Louis by he way, Louis William Tomlinson. Or to others I'm known as sick faggot.

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" Lou! Get in here!" I here my mother call for me as I sit in my bedroom on tumblr. I was looking at beanies, I really need a new one to replace the one I have now. It's a bit too small.

" Coming." I groan and get out of underneath the covers and lock my phone. My socks almost cause me to slip on our wooden floors. This is another reason I hate socks. I see in the hall that only the kitchen light is on, and the rest is dark considering it's nine o'clock on a Friday. Which I'll be spending on omegle and listening to my favorite bands like All Time Low, they're pure geniuses.

" What?", I mutter while giving her a death glare for disrupting me during my internet stalking of beanies and cute guys in those beanies. She turns her head for looking in the fridge for what I'm assuming a snack for her cheat day.

" Cindy from down the street is having a party tomorrow and I thought you'd maybe like to go? Shannon said it'd be alright. Plus Cindy seems like a nice girl so maybe you guys cou-" I cut her off, " I like penis mom. Vagina is no penis is yes." I say and walk away.

Wait what's that? Oh a family sized bag of chips. Haha family sized my ass, mine now.

I snatch the bag and run bag into my room as my mom complains on how these are for everyone.

In my room I plop down onto my bed and stretch my arms and legs. Comfy at last. My life has to be the lamest one yet but somehow that doesn't bother me. Time for some twitter because I'm tired of tumblr right now.

Let's see, nudes, nudes, nudes, oh look more nudes! Is this all people seem to be posting on twitter nowadays? I don't even follow these accounts. Ugh. Well this is pointless, omegle time it is. I grab my laptop and turn it on, typing in my password. It's lanamyllama because I'm not very creative.

I go into the URL space and type in Omegle.com and set into the " apple sauce" position. I push my hair out of my face and fix my glasses, then lastly pulling my hoodie sleeves to cover my hands. Puppy paws aye aye.

" 18+ and up" haha are you sure? I've seen twelve year olds on here. I roll my eyes and add in my interests.

" Gay af, marina and the diamonds, Lana del rey, fob, mcr, the 1975, pizza" Yeah that seems good enough I think. I click the blue chat now button. Let the fun begin.

My ugly ass self shows on the screen and I already and mentally apologizing to the poor strangers who have to witness this. The screen from them though is black.

" Bye." I say before disconnecting. I want to see faces.

I start again.

" Hi :) ", types the girl I see on the screen. She's a redhead with hazel eyes and pasty white skin. We both like pizza and my chemical romance.

I wave at her, she must be about sixteen.

" Oi! I'm Louis." I say.

" I'm Madeline but you can call me Maddie" She speaks while tying her hair into a pony. On her bare wrists I spy... Cuts? Oh no poor girly. Should I mention it or.....

" You okay?" She interrupts my arguing thoughts. I just stare blankly before speaking.

" Maddie.... You self harm?"

Her smile fades quickly and she tools down, nodding shamefully while rubbing her wrist with her thumb. " Yeah. Often actually. I know you're just a stranger and probably want to rape me or something but I'm gonna talk about it. My dad is very abusive and I'm always afraid he'll hurt me but I've learned that if I hurt myself then he won't because I've already gotten what I deserve." I sit with my mouth open, completely speechless. I don't know what to say....

" I'm so sorry Maddie, and no I don't want to rape you. I'm gay as hell, but you can come live with me though I mean I think I'd be a great mother." I say and get a reward of her laughter.

" Gays are gross. Sick bastard, kill yourself." She says and disconnects. Oh. Well that hurt.

I'll go one more time.

" Hi." I say to the stranger. We both like Gay af, Lana Del Rey and The 1975.

On the screen you can only see his torso which is covered in a black T-shirt. You can tell he's sitting too in a room with a champagne colored wall. He's so tan from what I can see, and his body looks toned.

He smiles. I can see his lips down to his waist. And luckily I see that pants are on, but his lips oh my god. I never thought I would actually see someone with heart shaped lips. They don't look like baloney slices like most. And they're the perfect shade of pink, and they look so plump.

" Hello, what's your name?" The thick accented man asks. He's definitely past eighteen I think.

" I'm Louis. And you?" I smile.

" Harry." He says and scratches his neck. His voice is raspy and it's honestly quite adorable if you ask me.

" What's up.... Hazza?"

" Nothing much. What about you... Cutie?" He blushes. His lisp is very noticeable now.

" Eating some chips because I'm lame." I shrug, popping a few into my mouth and devouring the delicious creation called Lays potato chips.

" Share!" Harry whines. Oh my god his smile, I so badly want to see the rest of him. And no I don't mean that sexually.

Or do I?