Some people say suicide is just a word. If you ask a professional they will tell you suicide is from prolonged depression. You see both of these are true, but I think it is something completely different. This is my story.
My name is Skylar, i am fifteen and I love to play sports especially volleyball. When people see me they always see a beautiful girl with brown hair and blue eyes that sparkle like gems, but those people don't know the real me. it's true I have beautiful hair and eyes, but I don't have a perfect life, I never have. I have this one flaw that no one knows about except for my friends and some of my teachers. The flaw, I have always struggled with suicidal thoughts. I may not look like I struggle and people almost never believe me when I show them my scars, the scars that have ruined my life forever, They are the bright pink scars fro a knife running over my soft pink skin near my wrist.
Whenever some one asks me why I cut myself I always tell them the same thing, to relieve the pain. Cutting sounds like it hurts, but I can tell you the sensation you get from it erases the pain. There is just something about feeling the cold metal of the blade running over the soft, warm flesh by your wrist that erases the pain. The only way to describe it is by saying when that cold blade runs over your warm skin, creating a thin stream of crimson red blood, and that red blood running down your wrist is an amazing feeling. Well, it is amazing until you realize how much it messes up your life.
When my friends found out about me cutting myself they kept asking why. I was so pissed off at the world I would always say "Because i really wanted to!" or "Why do you care? You never seemed to care before!" By saying these things I lost very many of my friends. After I lost my friends I wanted to die even more, so that night I tried killing myself. I found a velvet rope that fit perfectly around my neck, I tied a noose and slipped it around my neck. I was in my room and stood on a chair and put the rest of the rope around a hook on my celling, then I kicked the chair out from underneath me. Miraculously the rope broke and I fell to the ground. When I fell to the ground my parents came running to my room, they saw me laying on the ground with the rope still around my neck crying.
I was taken to the hospital after my attept. I was released as soon as they knew I wouldn't try anything else that would cause me harm. The next day at school everybody seened to know about my suicide attempt, and that's when my frineds came to be by my side during this tough time. i was amayzed to see how fast they forgave me after everything I did and said to them. They all told me they would always be there for me, and I was grateful for that. I still struggle with suicide and I still cut myself, but at least I still have all my friends there for me. I wish i could say that I have never attempted suicide again, but that would be a lie. I am currently getting help for my problem and have improved greatly. I have gone so far and it is all because my friends' support.
