Euphoria

GAME OVER: Continue or End?

⚠️Trigger warning: Contains inappropriate and sensitive words that can trigger or may lead to suicidal thoughts.

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. The author is not a professional who specialized training in mental health conditions. Names, characters, events and incidents are the products of the author's imagination. Any resemblance to actual person, living or dead, or actual events are purely coincidental. May contain typographical and grammatical errors.

"Son, I'm sorry."

"Dad!"

I called him again. This wasn't the first time. I had dreamed about him many times since he left. I sat down on my bed and took a deep breath. Sweats were dripping down on my head to my neck. I simply wiped those cold sweats with my hands.

I turned my head to my right, and saw a picture frame of two people I loved. They were happy together. I picked it up and stared at the picture. A flicker of memories began to wander inside of my head. Their smiles were genuine and how I wish I could too.

I walked to the living area and threw the picture on the couch. I then prepared my video game console, connected it to the TV, and sat on my couch while holding the controller. My back slumped on the couch as I waited for the game to play.

"You're playing again," said the person beside me. I remained silent while focused on the screen and immediately clicked the play choice using the enter button.

"Playing games for twenty or so hours, isn't that tiring?" I could hear him sigh in disbelief while I played a game.

He remained silent. He was probably watching while I played the game. An hour passed and I felt my hands going numb, I paused the game and sat for a while. I stood up and picked up a sachet of purple powder from inside of my drawer near me.

Ecstasy and relief.

My eyes were half open as I stared at my screen with a bold text "PAUSED". I was about to reach for the controller when he spoke again.

"Stop it, it's not worth it."

You just don't understand. You don't understand how I wanted to escape from this prison. The feeling of being suppressed with praises from fake devotees, totally sickens me.

"What do you want then?"

I wanted to escape from all of these. I do not deserve such praises because I'm also a fake. A double of someone who must be in the spotlight more than me. Because of me, everything is ruined. That's why, I wanted to escape.

"Then why don't you come with me?" A person in a black robe was standing in front of me. His hand extended and was inviting me in, "Come here."

My arm lifted, and as our hands touched, my room changed itself. It was bright. I was in a completely white room. My bed, couch, and console weren't there as I roamed my eyes around. All I could see was endless white. I walked forward and wandered around, thinking about what had happened.

Until someone appeared in my vision, it was a man wearing a black robe. I couldn't see his face. I slowly walked towards him, and when I was near enough, he lifted his head.

He was smiling at me. It was the same as before. I saw him open his mouth, but I couldn't hear any sound coming from him. He was somewhat speaking to me or saying something. My brows knitted as I watched him.

Until my head suddenly starts hurting so badly. It felt like my brain was continuously being pierced by something. I gripped my hair tightly and kneeled, because I couldn't stand the pain inside of my head. I opened my mouth and screamed, but I could not hear my own voice or any sound. I still screamed deep inside, hoping that this pain would soon be gone. My vision was hazy and turned into darkness.

His whole eyes slowly turned black, and so did his tears. Black blood tears rolled down his pale cheeks. For a moment, he completely transformed into something that he, himself, didn't know. He felt numb. He could still feel the pain, but for some reason, it felt like he was used to it.

He slowly stood up. His eyes were as deep as a void, it was endless and empty. He wore a black robe and was standing still in the empty white room. A black shadow suddenly appeared in front of him and handed him something with its hand. It was an apple. He didn't hesitate to take it, and the black shadow disappeared. After he received the apple, black robes appeared one by one in front of him. They were watching him. He looked down and examined the apple. He slowly lifted his hand and opened his mouth.

His eyes opened and he was now in his small room. He saw the big and bold text on his screen saying "GAME OVER."

He was holding a black thing in his right hand while the other end was inside of his mouth.

I'm sorry, Dad.

He smiled as these words appeared in his head, and then he pulled the trigger. A sudden loud noise could be heard inside of his room.

THE END