His Angel Puppet [E]

001 | Beginning

~There will come a time when you believe everything's finished. That will be the beginning.

-Louis L'Amour-
~~~~~~~~~~~

Laughing, crying.
Happy, sad.
Swayed, angry.

These are the emotions I see in the people around me right now. And every time I ask myself the same questions: Why should you laugh in a world like this, when behind the smile was a person who has long since been drowning? Why cry in a world like this, when the tears you shed are worth nothing? Why be happy in this world when there is nothing to be happy about. When everything lasts only for a short moment, and this moment of happiness can be destroyed at any time. Quite easily with painful consequences for your heart. Why be weighed when everyone is selfishly looking out only for themselves? And why get angry and waste your strength when you get nothing out of it? Why have feelings at all if they could destroy you inside?

Since I was little I didn't know these feelings. They were foreign to me. I never understood why the children in my school cried only because something bad had happened to them. Why one talked bad about the other because they were jealous or bored. And even less did I understand why they came to school the next day with bright smiles on their faces and acted as if nothing had ever happened. And when I said I didn't understand, I meant it literally. Many called me strange because I never laughed, cried, got angry or sad. They always called me a robot. Or just an emotionless doll. I got this nickname because I rarely spoke, and when I did, I always had the same tone in my voice. Not a single emotion. Not even an octave higher or lower. The same was true of my face. My facial expression was always the same. Cold, emotionless.

But that was just me. My personality.

Which was misunderstood.

What many didn't know was that I was actually a wide open book. People just didn't know how to read the, only difficult-seeming, letters correctly. It was quite simple, you only had to look very closely.

With a heavy sigh I got up from the bench and went on the way home. With slow steps I left the park where the children were playing and laughing together. I looked around me as I heard the crackling of the orange-red color soaked leaves under my feet.

Autumn.

Autumn was a beautiful colorful season. With the woodsy and rainy scented air, the cool breeze, the ground a sea of light crimson and coral, the bare trees and the few colored leaves on them with rays of sunlight shining through making them seem a few contrasts brighter and transparent.

It was funny how one could find something beautiful when everything was dying...

Arrived at home I made my way in my dull room. There wasn't much to see, as I was given the rancidest room in this big house, of all places. I got a plain white dresser set up next to my small bed. A table that had just enough space for 2 school books and a tiny chair that I got recently. The person who was responsible for me found it annoying to pay the doctor's fees for my aching knees.

In my room I sat down on the small wooden chair and opened my school books. Another thing people found 'awkward' about me. I was always busy studying, which is why people kept calling me names. But I ignored them all and locked myself in my own world. I'd rather stay in my own little universe.

Not long and I was torn away from learning as someone came storming into my room. "Where have you been, you stupid bitch!", my adoptive mother screamed at me at the top of her lungs.

Her long black hair fell perfectly over her shoulders, her blue eyes were adorned with beautiful long thick lashes, her figure was amazing for her age and her face belied the fact that she was in her mid-30s. All in all, she was a beautiful woman. But her character-"How many times have I told you not to sit without cleaning up first!" She came to me with quick steps and grabbed my school books in her hand. With them she walked toward the window with the peeling paint, opened it, and threw them out.

„I won't let you do anything like this again, you got it!", she yelled, pointing her finger at me threateningly. I looked over from her to the window and replied blandly, "You have to pay for my textbooks. I don't get any from the school for free. And the ones you threw away most likely fell into the pond next to our house wall." Before I could realize it, she had a fistful of my ponytail in her hand. "You filthy piece of shit talk to me with respect. Or do you want us to do last week all over again!"

Respect has to be earned.

I thought to myself, but decided not to say it, that would just be a stupid decision. Instead, I just looked coldly into her eyes. "Make me angrier and it will end up worse than last week. Instead of a normal sized glass I will give you a small coffee cup of water and half a slice of bread a day!", she continued to threaten me, but I didn't care at all by now. I said nothing but went on my way to clean up whatever. I was already used to it, and besides, as I mentioned before, I didn't talk much. I didn't waste my voice on people who were nice to me, so why on her?

Don't you think now I'm depressed. I am not. I just don't care about anything, I'm not into feelings, never have been. It may sound strange to you, but that's how it is.

When I was done I went around our house looking for my books, only to find that they had actually fallen into the pond.

I walked up to the pool of colored fish and fished out my waterlogged books.

I guess they are trash now. Great.

I thought to myself, almost bored. She had done a lot of things, but soaking my textbooks never.

While I fished out the individual sheets, I thought about how I could pay for my new books. I didn't have any pocket money.

When I turned around to go back into the house, my gaze was caught on our neighbor's side. Rather on the beautiful boy with a cigar in his mouth, who looked me directly in the eyes.

From this distance I could only partially perceive his face. He had emerald green eyes, a sharp jaw and high cheekbones. His brown hair was short, but not too much either, and stood out perfectly in all directions. No hairspray, no hair gel, just his beautiful natural hair.

He was beautiful.

I thought to myself. I didn't even try to deny it, after all, that was the truth. Between us was the high fence that separated our gardens and so I could see only a part of his torso, which was covered by a black T-shirt and a leather jacket. Nevertheless, I could tell that he was quite tall.

He looked at me coldly, and I in turn looked at him blankly. If there was something he wanted to say to me, he should do it quickly. Slightly he pulled his eyebrows together, but after a while the cold look came back in his eyes, turned around and went inside his house. After he was inside, I too turned on my heel, shrugging my shoulders, and went into the warm.

Good talk.

When I got to my room, I tried to dry my textbooks with a hair dryer, then I laid them open on my table and got ready for bed.

As I was about to close my balcony door I looked over at the neighboring house one last time. Since the house was empty for a long time, they must be our new neighbors.

I didn't even notice how the balcony door across from me opened and someone stepped out. "What is it.", I heard an annoyed, but also a pleasantly deep voice ask in my direction. For some inexplicable reason, a shiver ran down my spine. I turned my head to the boy from earlier. Now I could see him better. And as I had claimed, he was really tall and also well-built. He was wearing long gray trainer pants this time and a white T-shirt with a V-neck that accentuated his muscles.

"Excuse me?", I asked cluelessly. What did he want? I just looked over at his house. He just shook his head - still annoyed with me. "Mind your own business and don't look through someone else's window. I'm not in the mood for creepy neighbors.", were his last words before he went back inside and drew the curtains.

What a weird guy...

With my eyebrows slightly drawn together, I too closed my balcony door and went to bed.

So he was one of those guys.

I thought to myself indifferently and tried to fall asleep. Nevertheless, his face kept coming before my eyes.

At that moment I didn't know what would happen to me after this encounter and how much my life would change.

~~~~~

This is the first chapter of ‚His Angel Puppet', and I hope it was good up to here <3