Isobel Asks The Internet

XI - The Blood Donation

My enemies tried to sabotage a blood donation event that I ran! Did I deal with them in the right way?

Hey everyone!

So, the other day me and my friend Mallory were putting together an event where we invited local people to come and donate their blood, so we could give all of the blood to a charity who wanted it. We were having the event in the restaurant that Mallory works at, which meant that anyone who gave blood could also stay and order some food afterwards. We made sure to set up in a visible area as we thought that it might inspire some of the people eating to also donate after their meal.

We knew that we would need to provide an incentive to encourage people to donate. As I am the head manager of a local supermarket, SO many people in the community look up to me and see me as an inspirational figure, however that wouldn't be enough to get all of the blood we needed. I made the decision to offer vouchers that could be redeemed at my supermarket for 5% off of the cost of items purchased (minimum purchase £250) which I knew would attract many people. 

We tried to organise for professional nurses to be at the event who could take the blood, however there were sadly none available. I wasn't going to let this get in the way of the donation scheme, so I got Nigella (who is SO kind and sweet but also really aggressive and dangerous) to take an online seminar so she could come and do it! Nigella is the People Manager at the supermarket, so I KNEW that I could trust her with this task.

On the day of the event, we got set up early in the morning. Mallory's restaurant serves breakfast, so there were already people sitting at the tables, eating and gazing in fascination at our operation. We decided that we'd do some outreach, so I got Heini (who was also helping us out) to wear a waitress uniform and go around to all of the tables in the restaurant and to inform the guests of what was going on. However, this did not prove to be necessary as SO many people were already queuing up outside to donate blood. This caused a bit of confusion with customers for the restaurant, so I just got donors to use the kitchen as an entrance. 

A few hours into the event, everything was going AMAZINGLY. Heini was doing the rounds of the restaurant, and Mallory was taking everyone's details and giving them their coupons. Nigella was being quite rude to the donors, but they were still giving us their blood so it didn't even matter. A woman from a local radio station had come in and was even interviewing me about the campaign and about my wider achievements within the community. This was soon interrupted by Heini who approached us looking SO shocked.

"I've just seen Brindie" Heini told me, and the radio woman heard and asked us who Brindie was! I realised that I would have to play it cool in order to portray myself well to the local audience of sad daytime radio listeners (many of whom shopped at my supermarket) so I got Nigella to finish the rest of the interview, and I took Heini off to the side to ascertain the details of her sighting. We needed to go somewhere private where no one would hear our conversation so we stood in the middle of the kitchen where all of the chefs were cooking.

Heini told me that she saw Brindie scouting the perimeter of the restaurant. My blood ran cold when she told me that she had also been talking on the phone, probably to Debra and/or Marlene! This was chilling news to receive, but given the circumstances I had planned for this situation. Ever since our friend Mavis had tragically drowned at Brindie's pool party, her and her associates had been out to get us in order to extract revenge, and therefore I always had to be on my guard.

Mallory's grandmother Janelle works at the local abattoir, so we got her to supply us with a large volume of cow blood which we could use as a decoy in the somewhat likely event of sabotage. I had filled a large plastic tank with the blood, and placed it on one of the tables in the restaurant so anyone trying to cause trouble would have clearly seen it. What's more, I had put a small device that I could control through my phone into the tank. I had used my excellent reputation to obtain a corrosive agent from my university's chemical facilities, and the device would release the chemical upon my command. This would compromise the structural integrity of the tank!

I told all of this to Heini and she was SO relieved. The real blood was stored in a locked pantry which only employees of the restaurant (including Mallory) knew the code to, so Brindie would not be able to reach it. We went back out to the bloodletting station where the radio interviewer was asking Nigella how long she had been a nurse for. I thought that this would be a great time for me to interject and point out how many donations we had already received! Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Brindie and Debra sneak in to the restaurant and head towards the decoy blood tank. I pretended that I couldn't see them, however this was difficult as they were wearing heels and were therefore struggling to lift the tank off of the table. I persevered with the interview while they flailed pathetically. 

As soon as they had left the restaurant, I crept out behind them and saw that they were loading the decoy tank into the back of a large minivan; Marlene was in the driver's seat. I knew that now would be the right time to activate the agent, as it would take a moment for it to corrode the container. Once everyone had got into the van, I placed a large rock in front of the back wheel of the vehicle, as it would delay them further. As Marlene struggled to get the minivan moving, there was a sudden scream from inside.

"omfg DEBRA did you just spill your drink again?" a voice pierced the air like a drowning swordfish, and I knew that it belonged to Brindie.

"what the FUCK is happening back there?" Marlene shrieked.

"The blood is leaking!" Debra yelled at the rest of them and they all began to scream and grunt at the same time as they sloshed around in the fluids that were filling the minivan. They were banging on the sides of the walls trying to get the doors open, but Marlene had already activated the child-locks so they couldn't get out. I opened the door from the back, and all three of them SLID on to the tarmac covered in red fluid. They were struggling to get to their feet as they were still wearing heels so I took pictures of the scene which I could send to journalists wishing to write about this incident. 

At this point, Heini and the radio interviewer came out and they both looked STUNNED (Heini not so much, as she was used to this kind of shit). The interviewer went over to the three blood-soaked saboteurs and asked if there was anything that they would like to say for themselves; they all said "no" in unison.

After this, the blood donation event went off without a hitch. Nigella did threaten some of the donors that she couldn't immediately extract blood out of, but she refrained from committing any actual violence. We got SO MUCH blood, even more than I was expecting with the incentives we were offering. Now we just need to pick a charity to send it to!

How can we get Brindie, Debra and Marlene to leave us alone? Is there a way to convince them that we are not to blame for the death of Mavis?