Jaden Michael

1

A/N: hi! So people probably won't read this book as Jaden isn't as famous as other people but I really enjoyed writing this and I want to share it with other people, hope you like it! I'll leave you to read, have a cupcake though 🧁

"I wake up
Puddle of sweat" I wrote.

-what you think bout this ?- I asked my bro
He read it out loud
-yeah, it coul continue with something like... I get nightmares when I get back into bed- he said while writing it down then passed it to my other brother, Alan

-ok, ok what about... It's like these voices just keep playing on repeat
In the back of my head- Alan said, also writin it down, we all nodded as he passed it to one of our best friends, Marc

-I like it, I like it... Let me think... And I can't get them to leave me alone
30 years old but still hates being alone when I'm home- he said

-hmm, maybe best like, scratch 30 and put like 18 or 19, more like us ya know- Andy, the youngest of us brothers said. Marc did that and gave it to his twin Marcos.

-ok... It is about anxiety so maybe like...
Because that's when the voices get the loudest
Opening up like this is a moment far from my proudest- he said writing it down as we nodded our heads

-But these demons keep pressing me
I swear they're the foulest
But I've grown comfortable with their presence
My conscious is calloused- Alex said, out of the blue but it worked so we continued writing

-My dreams are their playground
My thoughts are their palace
I try to evict them, they return with more- I said

-Anxiety isn't an item you can return at the store- Marc said

This slowly turned more into a conversation with Marcos writing everything down

-I was ten the first time I had a panic attack- I said, everyone looked at me but turned back to how they were

-Like a punch to the stomach, there's no planning for that- Alan said, a sad smile on his lips

-And I didn't tell anyone
Because I was too scared about what they'd say- I said

-And I know deep down there was nothing
They could do to take it away- Jacob chimed in again

-It was my fight to fight and my battle to face- I said with a sigh

-I remember that house I grew up in
And how those demons would rattle that place- Marcos said

-I'd lay awake at night just staring at the ceiling
I've spent my whole life trying to run away from that feeling- Alan said, a tear rolled down my face but I quickly brushed it away

-That feeling of being lonely
That feeling of being lost
That feeling of being sick when the lights turn off- I said

-That feeling of being depressed
That feeling of being anxious
That feeling of screaming to God
Begging him to take this- I said, marking the word Begging and remembering my childhood and how I could have changed it

-Only to get silence in return- Andy said, looking at me and nodding, knowing I blamed myself but also knowing it wasn't my fault

-I'd lay in that bed crying and I'd toss and I'd turn
And I turn and I toss to this day- Alex said

Marcos gave the paper to Alan as his hands were tired, he continued

-The doctors gave me medication, the pastor said pray- Marcos said

-I tried both and this anxiety still hasn't gone away
So forgive me if I fantasise about being gone today- I said marking fantasise

-I'm an actor who got really good at being on today
But when I turn off I go right back into the shadows- Jacob said, a tear rolled down his cheek

-I'm in the deep end now but I started in the shallows
And I might just drown myself in these waves
Suburban hell, these homes are all graves- Andy said, Jacob was getting more sentimental

-Everyone's coping with something but won't admit it
They're all too afraid- Marc said

I looked at Jacob and whispered "It's ok, go outside breath, we can finish without you, you've done a lot for us" we all nod and he leaves.

I nodded and we continued

-And these kids are glued to watching us, what do we say?- we all said in unison

-If I'm honest with them maybe they won't think highly of me- I said

-Everything they want me to be is what I'm dying to be
But everything I really am is what I'm not trying to be
I want them to know that they're not alone in their struggles
I wake up in tears and fall back asleep in those puddles- Alan said

All of a sudden we were interupted by a brown skinned boy with curly hair, well, kind of curly? I dunno I tried not to pay attention to that.

-excuse me, sorry, I need help- he said, out of breath

I looked at my brothers in confusion

I nodded to Marcos and he went to Jacob while 3 identical boys (Alan, Alex, Andy) they're Identical sister (me) and Marc ran off with the boy.

He took us to the little forest in front of the house, there lying on the ground was something I couldn't even put in words.

There was a little boy on the ground.

He had brown skin, a bit darker than the boy that came to us. He had really curly and short hair.

He was lying there. Lifeless. Blood was coming from his leg. He'd been shot.

All of a sudden I remembered where I was.

-quickly, Alan, Alex get him, Andy go get everything ready- I said, helping my brothers into the house with the, likely, 9-10 year old boy.

As soon as we got in the house I needed to get the bullet out.

Thank god I studied.

***

The boy was now up and eating cereal, I didn't even know who to contact.

-t-thanks- the other boy from earlier said

-I-I'm Jaden by the way... Jaden Michael- he said, taking his hand out for me to shake

-Amanda, Spirit- I said, shaking it, god he had a strong grip, fuckin hot- nope no, Amanda shut up, god.

We talked a while, Jaden, my brothers, the twins, the little boy and I.

-so your like twins but 5?- the little boy, Justin asked

We laughed slightly

-yes, you could say it like that, we're Quintuplets- I said

-Awesome- he said