Red Strings (Strings Series #1)

Chapter 2

It's been like a week.

Hindi ko na masyado nakikita si Gab and even his friends. I don't mind tho. That's my initial plan. Ang umiwas and lumayo because I don't want to be attached with him para na rin hindi awkward for us and for us friends.

Sometimes, Janine is with Felix. Idk, maybe they got closer? I admire how she socialize well. Those engineering guys eventually got busy too tho halos 2 weeks palang.

I am alone here in the library because Janine is with Felix again. I don't mind tho. Kahit siya lang ang kaibigan ko, she doesn't have to be with me all the time. In fact, I enjoy my own company especially with books and such. I am exploring literature not because it is needed in my course but just for me.

"Fate is shaped half by expectation, half by inattention."

What if I leave it up to fate? Or what if I will not believe fate and go on my own? I can't fully grasp how destiny works tho. One thing that I know for sure is the world cruel specially to me and Iife is full of uncertainties.

"That's a good read."

Someone said. Umalis din siya agad dahil parang may kinuha lang din siyang libro. Diretso lang ang tingin niya habang palabas ng library. It's Gab.

Minsan naiisip kong kausapin siya. Makipagkwentuhan ganon, setting my feelings aside. He looks like someone who'll think rationally and would never believe in fate but maybe I am wrong?

Another thing is, I think kapag nakausap ko siya and na-clear out lahat, doon lang ako magkaka peace of mind. I hate thinking of what I did dahil hindi ko talaga inexpect na magkakaroon pa kami ng encounters sa isa't isa after SHS. This is torture, as I must say.

"Ja, you know something's bothering me lately."

"What is it Yca? I told you, you can tell me everything diba? Sabihin mo na. Na-curious din ako kung ano yang baon mong tea."

Mahina kaming tumawa habang nakaupo sa bench because it's our break. We just bought iced coffee and casually talking here.

"Hindi ko na alam Ja. My thoughts about Gab are bothering my lately. I just can't think straight and focus sa mga lectures."

"What? Hmm... Did something happen?

"No, not really. I actually want to talk to him. Maybe to confirm his feelings toward me? Kaso pano naman? I just can't ask him directly "Gab, gusto mo rin ba ko?" or like "Gab, what if ligawan mo na ko?" aaaaaaa!!! wtf ang cringe"

Tumawa nang malakas si Janine at hinampas pa ko. Ang sakit, pwede naman siguro tumawa na hindi nanghahampas diba?!

"But seriously, Ja. I want to but at the same time ayoko rin. I want to keep a distance between him and me dahil hindi rin naman ako sure if he feels the same way towards me. I don't mind if not."

"Weh, sure ka ba jan? You don't mind? Talaga?? TALAGA???"

"I hate myself!! It's hard to make decisions. I thought I am bold and reckless enough para isend yung fucking letter na yun."

Nagbago ang expression ng mukha ko. I am just really annoyed with myself. Indecesive af.

"Yca, it's alright. Calm down. Assess yourself muna. Your mind is too clouded right now. Wag mo muna isipin si Gab and kung ano mang related sa kaniya. Unahin mo muna ang sarili mo. Just take your time. If you want to distance yourself, do so. If you feel like kaya mo na siya kausapin, then go."

Janine is right tho. I have other problems gaya ng quiz next week pero mas inuna ko pa isipin si Gab. Hibang ka na yca tigil mo yan uy!!!

We talk some more like how we'll spend our freshman year, exploring different coffee shops and such. Bigla kong nakita si Vince na naglalakad papunta samin. He's covering his face habang naglalakad sa gitna ng field papunta sa kinauupan naming bench na nasa ilalim ng malaking puno.