From the base

Its just me!

Since forever people want to be happy even its on somebody's shoulder! No matter what, they want to be happy..
These people are the happiest, no feelings no worries all they ever want is to be happy and having fun, for me i cant being happy if i saw my family they're not, or even one of my closest friend, or even the guy that i love ..
Love, what we know about love? We read so many things about love, we saw so many stories about love, we once fell in love! But what a true love is? Nobody knows and i'm tottaly sure about it. Lets get back to the start, we talked about happiness, what happiness is? If somebody asks us? What should we say? Or answerd? Shall we saying what is the taste off happiness that we nearlly taste? Or about our dreams of being happy? Its hard to search for happiness, not all the time you could found it, or maybe you can, but you cant live it with the one you love.
Here we going again love, its like playing the game that you have to start singing a song from the last charter of a song! Love, im not a love expert but when you love somebody so much you ending up losing him, i dont know if its my luck? Or my distance but its kinda starts making me think more about love, hearing stories that happend to people its a good thing, but living these stories is a horrible! I loved two times, the first one lasted for two years and a half, it was a disastore and ending up with a fight, and then we broke up, the athor one lasted for a year and he is the one im with now, he's a good man kindly, he loves me as i am, and i acting like me like i dont have to be someone else in front of him, thats the only thing i loved in my whole relationship, we've some trouble now hopefully we can solve it, or we gonna break up! I dont know what to do! Im i jealsy girl! I cant stand it when i see him with another women even if she's his mother! Love turned me to the monster i've always fear! The one who runed everythings up and let everything down, thats not the thing i want, i wanna be with him and get marrige and have kids and living all my life with him, i hope he want me as much as i want him.
After i finshed high school usually the people after 3 months they went to the universty but for me with a hater father he didnt give me money so i have to wait for some mircle to happen with me, life seems so dark to me, bad thoughts showed up and all i think about is how much i hate my father, its hard talking about your story because you gonna feel every word you gonna write, so i start working for earing money so i can study, its not that easy standing on your feet for 12 hours and working its so hard! But i have to work what other choices do i have? Nothing, having nothing to eat and nothing to drink its not the big deal for me, i have no money in my pucket its not the big deal for me, cant see my friends and hanging out with them its also not a big deal, but studing is a big deal for me we're in april ! I have to keep some money for uni hoping that i can do it ! So many and so many things inside me! Cant say it maybe i cant explane it to words its complicated, but hopefully allah will solved it, at the end all i can say is,
El HAMDELLAH.