wet hair and seasonal crushes

(don't) Make it mean something

He was holding the eye contact which is something Regulus never does he always looks away.

In a slight stumble of feet i stop right in front of him, our noses almost touching. "It won't mean anything" i said, he blinked

"I promise"

My hand slips around his hip and i pull him towards me, our chests bump together; he looks at me, he huffs. Our lips collide and my whole body is pulsating, i feel like i'm about to explode. Regulus put his hand in my hair and slightly tugs on it, he always does that. 

He puts his other hand on the back of my neck, and i feel chills going through my whole body, we momentarily disconnect our lips to catch our breaths. He looks at me, my lips, my eyes and every other feature on my face, all of that in the span of a few seconds. 

I connect my lips with his again and gently push him against the wall, i put my hands in his soft, very soft hair. He in turn put his hands on my lower back and at first he only put his thumb under my shirt slightly grazing the skin of my lower back. 

he shoved his tongue in my mouth, it definitely was unexpected but not uninvited. He was very intense with it, all that whilst grazing my lower back with his thumb. I also put my tongue in his mouth, it would be awkward if i didn't and besides i really wanted to, oh god how much i wanted to. 

Then his hand went higher and higher and started leading his fingers down my spine, that made me have to disconnect our lips for a moment and jut my head backwards mumbling 'bloody hell'. 

I then put my head right in the crook of Reg's neck and started kissing his neck. I could hear him breathe very loudly and jut his head backwards. 

'don't make it mean anything'

That thought rudely interrupted me, and instead of making him uncomfortable by just breaking it off, I gently removed my head from the crook of his neck and putting a kiss where his lips curled up when he smiled.

I smirked at him and went to sit on a chair in the corner of the room. His face was flushed and red. 

it did mean something

Shit, i promised, i can't help it, why does something so wrong feel so good. 

"this doesn't mean anything Alexis" I nod, why does he have to remind me. Why does he have to say it so many times, maybe he's saying it so much to reassure himself that this doesn't mean anything. He must've felt what i felt, this cant be just for shits and giggles to him. 

I really want to go up to him and kiss him again, kiss him till he couldn't bloody say that this doesn't mean anything. 

I was mad but i prefer to hide it, and we started talking, getting to know each other, it was lovely. I also used that spell to clean everything up before McGonnagal came back, and it worked... kinda. Some books flew to the ground but we could clean them up in time for dinner. 

We silently walked to the great hall and the second we passed the big door he went to his table head down. So i joined my friends at the Gryffindor table. Remus was reading whilst listening to Sirius' antics, Peter was lightly smiling at that. James and Lily were talking quietly. Marlene and Mary saw me entering and waved at me, that drew the attention of the others and they all greeted me in a similar manner. 

I sat down in between Marlene and James, I didn't eat that night, only chatted with James and Lily about the upcoming Arythmancy test. I had completely forgot about it, i would have to study through the night. 

I looked across the room at the Slytherin table where Regulus was eating and reading at the same time. He was reading Sandition by Jane Austen, it's her unfinished book, she never had the time to finish it, life had another plan for her. 

I don't know why he's reading it, he will never get the satisfaction of ever seeing it finished. Some writers had tried to write the end but to no avail, nobody could duplicate jane Austen's writing, nobody could've known what was going on in her head during the time she was writing it. Her unfinished symphony. Regulus never did have an issue with unfinished things, i wonder what that says about him.

I never realized but Regulus saw that i was staring at him so when i came back from my day dreaming, he looked at me, at my soul, it was an intense stare. that made me smirk and he averted his gaze and went back to reading his book and i went back to having a chat with my friends and that was that. It was as if nothing happened, even though so much happened, i wasn't going to sleep tonight, i would have to think about him all night, i know myself too well.

And i did, i did stay up all night thinking about him, he's got me in chokehold without even knowing it, he's intoxicating. His magical lips that melt me, the way his hair perfectly falls on his face, how he always tries to act cocky but ultimately fails miserably, every time i kissed him he always averted his eyes from me before and after.

You see what i'm dealing with here, all this circling through my mind all night long. Thinking about the next time i would be able to kiss him.

I hope he was also thinking about this. I hope i also have him in a chokehold. I don't know. I hate that i don't know, I hate that it doesn't mean anything to him. I ahte that i can't hate him even though i try every day, but every day i learn to like him a little bit more.

a/n : 

Hey guy, 
so for this chapter i had the song Closer by Nine inch nails stuck in my head so you can imagine my mindset whilst writing this, it was interesting, that's to say the least.
much love,
Charlie