ImmediatelyWriting's One Shots

#54. Sk8 - Renga) What Mirrors Cannot Show

Sometimes mirrors cannot show you everything.

Langa learned that the hard way; through putting on a T-shirt to see it lumping up around his chest. It was alien, something that shouldn't be there. Not on his body at least.

He always had to top it off with something, a flannel or a jacket, just to make sure that no one would see the hobbles his breasts caused. Because even when everyone said he had to emphasize those curves he's sadly gotten at birth, while he's just so glad that he's been graced with a lankier figure. People tell him he's flat as a board, but he sees them in the mirror; his breast are clearly present, even when others that have been assigned female at birth would show them more.

Langa sighs, inspecting himself in the big mirror. He doesn't know how to get them to leave. Well, okay, he does, but that's not really an option; his mother has agreed to binders, but top surgery's still very much out of the question. And just on this first real date with Reki, his binder's being washed.

Reki knows about to whole ordeal, the way Langa's not actually a real guy yet. At first Reki didn't want to believe it, because Langa has always worn his binder when around other people. He managed to show it to Reki, the tight binder underneath his shirt, but he has never taken it off in front of anyone other than his mom before since he got it for his birthday last year.

He wears it all week and washes it in the weekends, where he usually stays inside to do his homework. But this week Reki finally asked him out for a first date, for Saturday evening, where Langa's binder's always being washed with all the other white laundry.

I shouldn't have worn it yesterday, is all he can think about as he throws on a denim jacket to hide his curves. It doesn't quite look the way he wants it to, and maybe that's because the jacket's too large for his slender body, but he doubts it. It's probably because his stupid body's laughing at him through the mirror once more; curving or puffing out at all edges, like saying "well, Langa, you think you can look like a boy in that? Thought wrong!". And the worst thing is that his stupid body's right; he looks like a girl in cross-dress at most, not at all like the guy he sees himself as in his dreams.

Reki will be here any moment now and when he will look at Langa, all he'll see is what Langa has been hiding from him all this time. Langa doesn't want that.

"Mom!" His voice breaks as he shouts for his mom, but that's mostly because he's been putting lots of strain on it trying to get it lower than it was when he was younger.

Footsteps move down the hallway, towards Langa's room, and within no time the door opens. Her hair has been put up in a bun and she's wearing an apron since she's cooking dinner for herself.

"Is something wrong, honey?" she asks Langa.

Langa looks at her through the mirror's reflection and asks, "Is my binder still not washed?" while playing with the jacket, trying to hold it at an angle where he can't see the bulge his breasts cause.

She shakes her head, sadly. "I'm sorry, it's still soaking wet, Langa."

Langa's face falls, along with his hands that he drops to his side. He feels so tired, too tired to go, and a little sick at the thought of having to face Reki like this. "Maybe I just shouldn't go," he says before turning around to his mom with tears in his eyes.

"Hey, no." His mother walks up to him, her arms wrapping around Langa's shoulders. "Don't say that; you've been looking forward to this since Reki asked you." She buries her nose in Langa's hair, and the way she blows some air as she hushes him tickles his head. "You're going."

Langa takes a step back so he can look her in the eyes; his expression obviously screaming that he's terrified of eating out in a full restaurant with judge people and Reki, who's never seen him like this before. He doesn't want to go there, no matter how badly he wants to eat out with Reki.