the moon, in actuality, is hypothesized to be created by the earth colliding with a mars-sized planet called theia like,,, 4.5 million years ago. no i did not look any of this up. i have retained it over years of consuming space media is this what mental illness looks like
"cas, you've met my wife, eileen," earth!sam promises once he notices the puzzled appearance shape itself onto pluto!cas's surface. pluto!cas shakes the lovely gal's hand. mars!dean then comes over & greets pluto!cas with the same amount of enthusiasm. he's a widow with his two moon children, phobos!ben & deimos!claire.
jupiter!metatron pulls pluto!cas to the side.
"wtf is happening?!?!?!?!?! this isn't our universe, is it?"
"i don't think so," pluto!cas mumbles. he looks over at his family chatting, & then back to his lover. "my family-i mean, my version of my family-told me to never go into black holes because you'd be sucked away forever. but my friends told me that black holes were a gateway to alternate universes. i didn't know which was real, but had no interest in finding out."
until of course he & jupiter!metatron we're exiled by sun!chuck for sodomy 🤣🤣
suddenly, jupiter!metatron sees sun!amara & saturn!rowena..... doing the dirty in the middle of the solar system!?!!?!?
pluto!cas notices it too, & was waiting on earth!sam to make a homophobic comment. but he doesn't, only smiles politely, & continues a conversation with his son.
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wow. this new universe didn't discriminate. pluto!cas thinks he might get used to this.
when sun!amara & saturn!rowena are done, sun!amara greets pluto!cas & jupiter!metatron. however, she, like sun!chuck did, has keen senses. "you aren't our pluto & jupiter, are you?" she asks, voice kind.
"n-no we aren't pls don't throw us away 😭😭😭"
"i would never!! all newcomers are welcome. come, fellow planets. let me show you around."
pluto!cas's core nearly stops spinning. he's ... a planet? he never a planet back home... but here, he's accepted for who he is, & who he's not.
sun!amara gives the two planets a brief tour & shows them their location on the spiral rotation. she inquires about their past life, & they explain the torture they had to endure. sun!amara instantly feels bad, but her eyes widen when she hears the mention of their universe's sun.
"chuck?" her voice is now uncharacteristically raw, breathy, & has a sharp point to it.
"yes... why?"
"um........" she looks around awkwardly. "i think... that's my long lost brother."
she goes onto explain the formation of stars. stars usually form in pairs; go ask nasa. she & chuck were raised by the milky way galaxy together, being each other's light, & dark; despair, & delight. however, one day, sun!chuck feared that sun!amara was getting too powerful. he casted her away.
"you mean he... threw you into a black hole?"
"yes." sun!amara says dolefully. "he started the creation of the universe &, under the assumption that a black hole just meant being ripped to nothing, threw me in. but i've been here ever since, building my own utopia. one better than his. one better than he'll ever be. & my wife," she grips onto saturn!rowena's hand tightly now, "has been in full support of me."
jupiter!metatron & pluto!cas awwwwwww.
the rest of the night is JUST PARTYING!!!!! they travel to the karaoke bar in the canis major dwarf galaxy. jupiter!metatron gets on a karaoke stage & starts singing. suddenly, he's challenged to an auto rap battle by none other than uranus!garth.
jupiter!metatron starts spitting bars: "What up y'all? It's Ceez in the builds And when I'm in the game, I like to style with my kills You know that I am the king of dusty You trying too hard, but you smellin' mad musty Killin' me? You must be mistaken Because it's your life, that I will be takin' Wah wah wah, now you crying to your mommy But guess what papi? Now you back in the lobby Yeet! Ooh! Gameplay real ratchet Other players in the realm, you know they can not match it And when we done, we hit 'em with a dance I boogie with my feet, then I boogie with my hands Triggered trash kids when they salt is increased Sorry, gotta go, double g, double peace (ahh yeet!) Triggered trash kids, when they salt is increased Sorry, gotta go, double g, double peace (ahh yeet!) I'm in the hilltops, views real nice I got the kill shot, you will die When I aim, one prayer equals one life Man I told you, they talk about my snipes You no scope? I quick scope, you will choke The loud bang make you jump, for real though You real slow when you crouch I gotchya, now you're in the lobby, wonderin' who shot ya? Yeah! Always hype, never lowkey I'm the king, yeah you know me Steady shot, I'm an OG Hear that? 'Cause I'm coming for the trophy Fortnite! Fortnite let's go I get it all night, all night fo sho I'm on that fortnite, fortnite let's go I get it all night, all night fo sho Yeah, yeah I got a green submachine gun, dude sick Everybody's building ramps, that's useless If I keep hoppin' around, they can't shoot me He got lucky when he hit me with that boogie I don't care, if they're snipin' and scopin' I'm really low on health, I'll just heal in the open Slidin' down a mountain only takes a little damage Oh look! There's a shed with a scar and a bandage Oh yes, I just killed another pleb Call me black widow baby, walk into my web Here fishy fishy, look at all the goodies Lock you inside, take advantage of the rookies Open up a window and lay down the spikes You try to break free, but it's over, say goodnight I make it look easy, it ain't that hard Surprise, you just activated my trap card Hold up! Everybody be quiet Don't want the enemy seein' me when I'm hiding Ducked in the bushes, never see me spying Silencer on the pistol, you on the ground crying I'm flying off the launchpad, landing in the trees Sniped from above, peeking through the leaves Playin' hide and seek, yeah, I'm deadly with the squeeze Listen, you can look around, but you'll never find me, haha Always hype, never low key I'm the king, yeah you know me Steady shot, I'm an OG Hear that? 'Cause I'm coming for the trophy Fortnite, fortnite let's go I get it all night, all night fo sho I'm on that fortnite, fortnite let's go I get it all night, all night fo sho (yeah, yeah) Fortnite, fortnite let's go I get it all night, all night fo sho I'm on that fortnite, fortnite let's go I get it all night, all night fo sho Pull out the blueprints, got the world in my pocket Quad wall, throwin' up a ramp then I cock it You got an RPG shooting rockets It's gonna make you down youself, when I block it Now watch this, fallin' to your death out of my place Got the highground, now I'm shootin' from a skybase Keep it going up Mats triple nine mate, bye mate Wish that you could see the look on my face I'm Elite baby, don't you see the outfit? Double pumps don't matter, man I got this Shoot a rocket, and pop a mini at the same time If you put a scar in my hand, then it's game time Got a sniper, a shotty, I'm unstoppable I'm droppin' you, I'm dancin' on top of you Am I top tier? Go and ask the last dude Uninstall the game, because honestly you're trash dude"
uranus!garth instantly implodes on himself. jupiter!metatron fortnite dances on his dead corpse.
pluto!cas admires his bf metatron 😕 this is all just so glorious. it's more than he could ask for. until, suddenly.... there's screaming coming from the back of the bar. pluto! cas turns & sees...
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