the Pain of Truth [Ray X Reader] (the Promised Neverland)

102

3rd Person Pov:

"7, 3, 5. 9, 4, 1. 10, 10, 7. 13, 11, 2. 21, 8, 4. 150, 6, 3." read Emma out loud, looking at the note in her hands. Gilda, thinking for a second, said: "These numbers..." Ray nodded, saying: "It's the same as before."

Emma smiled brightly, holding up the book they had used like this before. "Correct! It's the code based on Minerva's fantasy book. Page 7, 3rd line, 5th word... 'Go'. Page 9, 4th line, 1st word, 'to'."

"Oh yeah, I remember it now! We did that when we first found the shelter!" noted Marc, looking happy that they now had a clue on what to do. "Now we put all the words together, and..." trailed Emma off, looking at what she had written down.

'Go to the jaw of the lion'

"What's a jaw of the lion?" asked a kid, with another one asking: "How do you 'go' there?" "Ah! I saw that on the maps, back in the shelter! When we were looking for the temple and the golden waters!" called Yvette, gaining the attention of the three oldest amongst the Grace Field kids.

"You remember? That's amazing, Yvette! Thank you for your help!" said (Y/N), smiling sweetly at the younger girl, who nodded proudly. "Yeah, it's in a wasteland ten days on foot from here, to the west. That's the place where this telephone 'Minerva' wants us to go." "Great! Let's go, then!" called Lanni, nodding. Thoma did the same, saying: "Yeah! To the Lion's Jaw!"

After they had all prayed for the kids that, sadly, lost their lives, they left the safety of the tunnels.

Time skip: three days later

(Y/N) Pov:

We've been travelling for three days now. Everyone's looking tired, and we're slower than I anticipated. Besides, travelling in such a large group, a group of 58, means we lose agility. And even this slower pace must be hard on the younger children.

Gathering food, finding safe places to rest or sleep... All of it is so much more complex than when we were travelling in a group of seven. And above all, this stress is affecting each and every one of us.

Now we know that there's not only Demons, but also human enemies. What's even worse is that we can't know if the enemy send another camera after us. So we can't even rest for a single second.

I let out a sigh, sliding down a tree and closing my eyes for a moment. "This is too much..." I muttered out, noticing that someone sat down next to me. I opened my eyes, meeting a pair of dark green ones.

Putting on a light smile, he said: "Hey." I returned the smile, leaning my body against his, saying: "Hey." He placed his arms around me, pulling me into a hug, which I gladly accepted. "The others are gathering food. Yuugo's teaching the younger ones how to do it. Oliver, Zack, and Anna are treating Lucas' wounds." he informed me.

Sighing once more, I asked: "Is he getting better?" Ray nodded, answering: "His condition is slowly increasing. It'll probably take a few weeks for him to recover, and I'm not sure if he'll ever be the same again."

"I see." I said, closing my eyes once again. I feel so sorry for him. He's been injured so badly back at the shelter, all because of that ambush. Feeling how my heartbeat began to race, I took one of Ray's hands into mine, attempting to calm down.

Ever since three days ago, when I killed Andrew, I've been having moments like these. Especially at night, so I haven't been sleeping much. My heartbeat would increase, my body would stop reacting at times, and my mind would blank out. Not to mention the mental exhaustion.

My breath hitched as I saw the exact images, like I was pulling the trigger once more, like I was reliving that very moment again. "Stop. Don't- Don't shoot..." I muttered out, tears beginning to fill my eyes.

I don't want to feel it again. I don't want to see it again. I don't want to go through the process of killing a human being again. Not again. Not again. Not again!

"Stop!" I yelled, shutting my eyes tightly, my hands increasing the strength of my grip on Ray's hand. However, the images didn't stop. The way his body fell back, the way he hit the ground, the way the recoil from my gun affected me...

It's all engraved in my mind.

"Please, j-just make it stop! M-Make it stop!" I called, feeling someone grabbing me by my shoulders, shaking me. My eyes snapped open, and I was face-to-face with Ray, who seemed worried.

Breathing heavily, I could do nothing but to stare at him, watching how a slight wave of relief washed over his features. He let out a long sigh, cupping my face with his hands. He brushed his thumbs over my cheeks, saying: "Again, huh?"

"Yes." I answered shortly, leaning into his gentle, comforting touch. "You should get more rest. How much did you sleep last night?" he asked me. I closed my eyes, my body growing more and more tired than it already was.

I thought for a moment, then answered: "I think around two hours." "And the nights before?" "Not more than three." "(Y/N), you do know that you're just human, right?" he asked me, retreating his hands.

"I know." I answered, looking to the side. "But I can't help it. I want to accept it. I want to accept that I killed a human in order to safe my family, but it's like my mind won't let me." I admitted, leaning onto him, my head resting on his shoulder.

I yawned, asking: "You won't leave me, right?" He scoffed, asking: "What kind of question is that? Of course not! I would never ever leave you, (Y/N). I just love you too much." A light smile made its way onto my lips.

"Then do me a favour." I muttered out. He hummed, indicating that I could continue. I did by saying: "Get some rest, too. You've been super stressed these past three days." "What? I-" he tried, but I cut him off.

"I can tell, Ray. You've been watching out for everyone, and on top of all that, you always help me out. I'm really grateful for that. But let's just rest for now, okay? The both of us." I said, feeling how he gently placed his arms around me, causing me to smile lightly.

"Alright." he agreed, leaning his head onto mine. "Sleep well, my (Y/N)." "You, too, love." I replied, noticing how his body tensed ever so slightly as he heard me use a nickname for him, one which he usually called me.

Drifting off into sleep, the last thing I felt was a light kiss on my forehead, followed by him saying: "I really do love you, (Y/N)." "I love you, too, Ray..." I trailed off, finally able to fall asleep.

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Picture from:

https://www.pinterest.ch/pin/761952830709793954/