Mother and father are different now after kayla's death, mother looks at things like they were when kayla was still around she calls her for dinner and when the supposed kayla doesn't come out she goes in her room then lays there looking at the ceiling crying quietly. Father goes through pictures of me and kayla both together in his arms. I have to say loosing a twin it feels hurtfull. I feel very much like kayla now in ways like kayla not coming out of her room for dinner and i talk to grandma all the time like kayla used to. It's been 4 months withut kayla around, mom still does her normal rutine she goes to work, comes home then eats in her room and watches her sop opera's, dad and i watch mash together in the living room while eating taquitos but suddenly i get sick i don't understand theres no way i could be getting sick i am head cheerleaderr i have to stay healthy for my compotision's, then i hear kayla's on the phone i run to the desk in the hallway and thereshe is siting there talking to grandma i yell out her name and dad comes running, she is looking right at me, dad yells:"WHERE, WHERE IS SHE"! " Right there I say, don't you see her how could you be so blind." i say with tears in my eyes then mom runs out then suddenly she screams:" WHAT THE HELL YOU DON'T DO THAT! I start to cry and she comes to comfort me but i push her away and say that it was her fault that kayla is gone mother starts to cry and i say the worst things to her then kayla re appears and i am so confused i want to talk kayla but i don't. Should i feel this way or is it just me? So the next day rolls around and mom left a note on the counter and i am confused by what she said."Dear Kaitlin you and your sister are my world i am sorry i did this to our family that is why i am leaving your father has already gone to work i am sorry my baby its the best for you and your dad good bye, love mommy i started to cry and got my phone an tried to call mother but i couldn't her phone was on the counter but at that moment kayla stood and she told me were mother was, she said mom was going to the bridge and to get one last glimps of what her life used to be. So i got my bike and i rode, i rode like my life depended on it, but this moment actually did.
