like the movies

i wish we were like the movies.

if we were like the movies,

i would be scared to ask you on a date

until the words came out of my mouth

and your face lit up with a smile i've only seen for other people

because in movies,

everything works out okay.

in the movies the girl doesn't ever not get the date

she doesn't go home wondering what she did wrong

or how she can hopefully make this less awkward

so they can still be friends

god,

if she even wants to

does she really want to look at a girl she's in love with the rest of her life?

knowing she'll never love her back?

every laugh track at her expense

every plot twisting in the wrong direction.

does she want to watch the credits roll and know she never got her happy ending?

i wish we were like the movies.

because then we would get our happy ending and we would be happy.

it's not

too much to ask

that you let me be your love interest

but i think

even then

it would be a disaster

because you'd never feel the way i do about you.

because i have your lines

fucking memorized,

you showed up with that script written on your hand.

you didn't study

but i prepared my whole life for this.

and when it comes to our

romeo-juliet kiss

you'll make a face and tell me to get it over with quick.

and when the director calls cut,

oh i'll fucking cut.

maybe i'll carve your name into my face

because i'm crazy that way.

special effects can take it off later

make up the pain away.

blooper tracks will just be those antidepressants kicking my ass

that's what hollywood is, anyway

drugs and love and drugs and love

i wish we were like the movies love

crazy.

crazy that we aren't like the movies

we'd be better that way.