Through It All (LevYaku fanfic)

Patience is Love: Chapter 12

"You're not the only one," Morisuke whispered and grinned. What's the point of lying now, right? It was true that he had fantasized about the tall and lanky boy who did nothing but tease him because of his height.

Lev beamed and smirked, "that makes me very happy, my sexy senpai. Ah, but also sad. If I had just confessed..." he kissed his love longingly.

He kissed his love back, got comfortable under Lev, and chuckled. "If I'm being honest, I didn't think we would date ever," he admitted, his voice carrying an emotion he did not dare to name. "I'm... I'm actually scared to date. I may not be as good as you think, Lev."

"I lost so much time with you. I... I refuse to lose anymore. I will cherish you. You don't need to be scared. You are the one I hold most dear. You could be bad, good, morally gray. It wouldn't matter. Yaku Morisuke is for Haiba Lev. And Haiba Lev is for Yaku Morisuke. It feels so good to tell you everything, and to be holding you like this."

He kept quiet for a while, obviously deep in thought. "Lev... I wanna be honest with you." He shifted a little to get more comfortable in his position. "I... I was not planning on coming back..." he started, waiting for Lev's reaction.

Lev looked like he had just been stabbed in the lungs. He couldn't breathe. He was doing his best to hide his pain. What does he mean, he didn't plan to come back? Why wouldn't he have mentioned it to me, or anyone else?... I don't understand, I was waiting for news... any news. "I don't understand." He whispered so that his voice wouldn't break.

He gave a sad sigh, thinking of the wasted times with his Lev. He couldn't possibly comfort this man who had obviously been hurt by what he had first said. "I... I've been back for 5 years and I did not want you to know." Let's do this slowly. He did not want Lev to have such pure thoughts of him when he hadn't been honest.

Lev's breath hitched, "I don't understand, did I do something wrong? You could have told me if I had. Or someone could have mentioned you weren't coming back. Kuroo-san knew my feelings."

Morisuke sat up, gently pushing Lev off of him so he could pick the very first shirt he could and wear it. It just so happened that the shirt he got was Lev's shirt. "You did nothing wrong," he stated as he stood up and turned the lights on. He then faced Lev, showing the younger man his raw emotions. "My feelings for you were huge, Lev. I thought leaving Japan would make me forget you. That's why I grabbed the opportunity to study in my dream university."

Lev sat up at the edge of the bed and put his underwear on. I don't understand, okay so neither of us confessed but why not come back? Why not tell me he wasn't coming back?

He walked to the window and opened it to let the cool air enter the sex-soaked bedroom. He did not mind that the shirt looked like a dress on him. He was just happy that he had Lev's scent on him. "I was afraid I would taint you, my memory of you. So for years, I dated men who looked like you. Until I got involved with a certain man who got pretty obsessed with me. Things got pretty dangerous. Things happened. Things that I will explain to you in the future... if you still wish to hear them. Not tonight. Not when I'm happy to have you here."

Lev listened intently, trying to absorb and process everything his love was telling him. Trying to understand, and be a strong man for him, and strong for himself. He stayed silent for what seemed like forever, probably to the both of them.

"So, you loved me and ran away, and you had decided to never come home. Then you were dating someone dangerous just because they looked like me. I.... My love, I'm so sorry. This is my fault. You were in danger because I was a coward. I thought waiting for your homecoming to tell you in person would be romantic if you accepted me."