Hello, my name is Savannah. This is my journal. I hope what I write here will not be found. It's hard to come out and tell people about my problems. My mom doesn't know, my teachers don't know, my friends at school don't know. The only one that knows is my best friend Ethan. He's the only one I can trust with everything. I don't think I would be alive right now if it wasn't for him. This is my story.
So, now that you know some things about me. I'll explain what has happened, why I'm always so depressed and sad, why I can't do anything without it having a bad memory behind it. About 5 months ago, something happened on facebook. I was being cyberbullied by a girl I don't even know because I wanted to hang out with my ex- best friend since I hadn't seen her in forever. But apparently, that made her mad because she was her best friend now. All I wanted to know is if we were still best friends and if she wanted to hang out sometime, because I missed her. She had been my best friend since K5 and she had gone to a different middle school than me, so we had a hard time finding time to hang out. The girl, as my friend had said, had a hard time making friends because alot of people made fun of her because of the way she looked. But I don't see why both of us couldn't hang out with her.
I'm back! So. On with the story. I texted Ethan, and sent him what she said to me. This is our conversation:
Me: This is why I've been crying for the past 30 minutes..
Him: I want to meet this girl.
Me: Why?
Him: So I can tell her the f*** off
Me: That would just make things worse..Please help.. what should I do?
Him: Tell her to meet me. That's exactly what you need to do.
Me: But I don't even know her.. She's my ex-best friend's best friend. But I've never met her, and I don't know her personally.
Him: You don't know this girl personally and she's calling you an ugly bitch? HA!
Me: I don't find that funny... I'm trying so hard not to break down right now. Please help..
Him: I do. Where can I meet her?
Me: Ethan, that would just make things worse.. Just tell me what to do.
Him: Like heck it would! If I meet her she would never talk about you again and if she still does then, I'll " talk" to her again.
Me: I feel like you aren't taking this seriously.. Just tell me what I should say to her.
Him: You feel like I'm not taking this seriously? Savannah I couldn't be any more freaking serious. You should tell her that you've got someone she is going to meet.
Me: How are you gonna meet her? Alot of people have told me what she told me in that message.. And I'm starting to believe its true..
Him: Well it's not! Savannah you are one of the most beautiful girls I have ever met. She doesn't know what you've been through. I bet she's gotten every thing she's asking for while you and I work for it.
Me: That's because you've never seen me without makeup.. People are always like "why do you wear so much makeup?" Well, it's either that or being ugly.. I mean at least 10 people in the last month have called me ugly..And I know it's true.. I hate myself so much, that I look at myself in the mirror every morning, and count every single flaw I have. I'm tired of crying myself to sleep, EVERY night. I'll never be good enough for anyone. I've been crying so much that I might throw up. I just wished you weren't the only person that cares.. I feel useless to everyone..
Him: But you're not Savannah. I don't ever want to hear that again.
Me: I feel like it's true.. No one ever calls me and asks me if I want to hangout with them, no one ever texts me first. I feel like I annoy everyone.. even you..
