The Faults in Us

Chapter:1

It's been three months... exactly three months since Gus left me with millions of scars that still bleed. I looked out of my bed room window and saw rain pouring outside on thick green bushes that surrounded my house and wondered how was I still breathing. I thought I won't be able to spend a day without him and here I am, still converting oxygen to carbon dioxide. Phalanxiphor seemed to do its magic again, I guess, this time against my wishes, though. It's true I just wanted to go back to Gus. I was tired of caring about my parents, I was fed up of caring about how they felt. I was broken and tired of fighting. Yes I wanted to end it...
"Hazel dear", my mom spoke as she entered my bedroom and wrapped her arms around me as she saw me crying. I hated this feeling of being so weak, so vulnerable. It felt like I was just a loser after fighting all those years.... It felt like I didn't do justice to that little girl who struggled hard to live even when everything seemed to end, who didn't give up when everyone gave up. But what was I know? I wanted to give up now. I don't have anything left to fight for.
My mom gently brushed my hair with her fingers as she whispered in my ear, "It's gonna be alright, everything's going to be okay" . I wanted to scream in her face. "BUT WHEN!" But I didn't. I just nodded my head. She wiped my tears and took me with her downstairs saying she wanting to do something fun with me. I fake smiled and went with her.
Turned out the "fun thing" was baking. It was actually a little fun. Even though I burnt most of my cup cakes but the rest tasted really well. My mom again hugged me and said that she was really happy to see me smile again. Suddenly the door bell rang. I opened the door only to see my father standing there, his eyes filled with utter concern for me. I was kinda shocked, he didn't normally return from work before 7 pm and now it was only 4. He smiled quickly and said that we were going out for picnic and movies. I wanted to say no but my mother pushed me saying that it would be great for me to get some fresh air. But I didn't want to go out, it felt like everything reminded me of Gus. I wished he would be here....
I closed my eyes as the cool air blew across my face, it was pleasant. My father took us to Rosewood park that just opened up recently. It was actually really beautiful with soft lush green grass bounded by flamboyant poppy flowers from all sides. My mom handed me a tomato sandwich which reminded me of our very first "date". The memories at the Funky bones flooded my mind and I just wanted to be there.... with Gus. I was immersed in my own thoughts when a football flew into my lap. A little kid came running up to me. I could see him saying sorry over and over from a mile away. He was really cute with innocent light brown eyes. He was out of breadth when he reached me. I gave him the ball and reassured him, it was alright. He gave me a wide smile and hugged me. I was a little shocked at his sudden action but then I hugged him back. He, then, sat besides me and began to stare at Philp. I began to tell him about it but he quickly cut me off. "Yeap, I know what this thingy is, my mother also used it,it helps ya to breathe properly... Right?" I nodded in response. He said "used", does that mean her mother got better or she..no that couldn't happen to this little angel. I gathered some courage and asked him, "So, how's your mother doing now, love?" He looked at me for a minute and then replied, "She's in heaven now..."I put my arm over his shoulder, "I am sorry" was all I could say. "But that's alright", he said with a little smile," she does visit me every night when I am asleep!" I smiled in response. My father patted his head, "Well that's a good thing, your mother will always be with you." I wanted to know a little bit more about his mother but more importantly I wanted to know how this little guy managed to smile after all that happened. My mother offered him a sandwich but he refused saying he already had lunch. He then got up and asked me to play football with him. I agreed and got Philip on my back. Perhaps, he would tell me more about his mother.