prologue || land in the waves

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     Oh no. No no no.

     He's back.

     He saunters towards me and at first I cannot move. Only stare, observe. He didn't have that tattoo the last time I saw him, right? That's new. This is new.

     I'm not in control of my body when I rise to meet him. He's face-to-face with me now and I can feel his labored breathing schluffing off the skin on my face every time he exhales.

     My body feels different than my mind does.

     Is this me making a sorry attempt at a rehash? Like it would change anything he did?

     I'm done wrestling with it.

     I want to wake up.

     Some part of me tries to turn my head like I can just look away, like it's just a bad movie. But instead I phase out of my body, my mind floats outside the barriers of my face and leaves me stranded, away from myself.

     Now I've lost all control.

     I'm watching myself dip my toes back into a pool I've already drowned in.

     I only have one question.

     Why?

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