"What is going on here?" I asked when I saw them. My mother was standing in front of Hafsa. She smiled at me like she always does when she sees me but I ignored her. My father and her father were sitting there, laughing, but when they saw my expression, they immediately stopped. When I looked at what my mother was holding, I saw it was a ring. My mum looked everywhere but me.
"Come Kamal, see the ring we bought for your engagement" I heard Hafsa's mother say. My eyes widened and I turned to my father.
"I thought you told them that I didn't want to marry her. Or anyone" I said and then walked away. I heard my dad calling for me and after a few seconds he grabbed my arm and turned me around.
"I am your father! You will do as I say. When I say you are going to marry Hafsa, you will marry Hafsa" he said and I couldn't believe it. Actually, I could.
"This is sick" I said while shaking my head. I pushed his arm away but he grabbed it again.
"If you didn't get into trouble, you know that this wouldn't have happened. You are marrying Hafsa and that is final" he said. The anger in his eyes told me not to argue and I just turned around and walked away. The hell I will marry her while there was someone else on my mind the whole time, messing it up.
"Dude, why don't you pick up your phone" I heard Maher yell at me through the phone. I sighed and rolled my eyes.
"Don't roll your eyes at me!" he said. I rolled them again.
"Yes, dad. Whatcha doin" I asked him. I just felt like going far away and just clear my head. He got the message and replied immediately.
"Okay, pick me up at H&M" he said and I started laughing.
"What the actual hell are you doing there?" I asked him. I heard him yell at someone before answering me.
"My aunt dragged me with me, she wanted some help. Come on, hurry up. I'm waiting. Save me from these women" he said and I could already see him whining. I ended the call without saying anything and shook my head. He just knew when I needed him the most.
"Dude, that is messed up. So you're telling me that your parents are forcing you in this marriage, while you love someone else? Why am I always the last one to know things? Who is this girl?" he said. I really wanted to tell him but something inside of me told me not to.
"I'll tell you later. Now there is like, nothing going on" I said. It was true. I mean, I even got rejected, even though my proposal was for the safety of Karim. Okay, it was also for Manar.
~
I was sitting by the lake with my book in my hand. It was cold, hell it was freezing, but I still sat there on the snow, trying to study. Everything I read felt like going out of my mind the moment it came in. I groaned and tried to concentrate but it didn't work. Millions of scenes passed through my head. Karim getting kidnapped. Karim being taken away from me. Every bad scene about him being away from me came to my mind. Even one where he was 20 years old and didn't recognise me. I couldn't let that happen. I won't ever let that happen. He was my child. Maybe it was not my intention to have him, but he is still my child and I will fight for him. Unlike him. What should I do.. Moving from here won't help, he will find me again. He already found out my house. When I was thinking of what I could do, Kamal's proposal came to my mind. I didn't know where he got that from or anything, but it really made me angry. He disrespected me. He disrespected me because he knew that I couldn't even stand men. I don't know if he knew about what happened to me, but I think he does. Should I.. Should I still accept it? I sighed and closed my eyes when I heard a voice.
"You shouldn't be sitting here on the snow, you will get sick" he said and I felt him sitting next to me with a bit distance between us.
"You shouldn't too.." I whispered, hearing the sadness in my voice. All that happened and what could happen really got to me and I had no clue how to handle it.
"Sometimes, we all feel like that. Like we need to get on the surface to get some air to live. Like we are swimming but sometimes are so tired that we sink deeper and deeper, but also need air and try to get up more and more. Its like drowning, what you have.." he said. So he knew I was kinda depressed.
"But what.. what if there is nothing to hold onto. Nothing to live for. What if you have no energy to even move to get to the surface anymore. What if there is no solution for drowning and you will drown deeper.." I answered. He was quiet for a few minutes before sighing. I put my hands in the sleeves of my coat and turned towards him.
"Maybe there is a solution. Maybe there is this solution but you never thought about it. Maybe it sounds all so wrong, but can turn out so good. Maybe it will help you from drowning. Maybe it will grab your hand and take you out of the cold water.." he said back. I bit my upper lip to held back the tears. I looked at him. Maybe yeah, maybe I should do that.
"Kamal?" I said. He looked at me like he already knew what I was going to say.
"Have you ever thought about that I could still answer your question?" I said lifelessly. His eyes widened for a second before he nodded. I knew what was going to come and even though it was not making me happy, I needed to do that.
"Can I answer again?" I asked him with a little high voice. He immediately nodded unsurely, not really getting where I was heading anymore. I took a deep breath and quickly prayed for help from Allah. I took my time before answering him.
"Okay"
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Sorry guys for this late update, but I had really a writers block for this story. I never really had that before so I was really scared lol.
Just know that these 4-5 weeks I can't update that much. I have exams coming and a few weddings and stuff with the mosque I need to fix. After my exams I have holiday, so then I will be able to update EVERYDAY. So don't leave me!
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SERENDIPITY (Islamic Story)
Spiritual[Previously known as 'Have you'] Have you ever felt so alone? Have you ever felt like they stabbed you in your back? Have you ever thought you were going to be a victim of rape? Have you ever felt like you can't even trust family? Have you...