Who You Say I Am (A Jai Courtney Fanfic)

Chapter 104-Jai

Jai

I decide to hold off on pestering Noah since Mikey gave me heaps to read.  Maybe I'll find my answers there.  If not, I'll add to my list and have a longer convo with him when he's free. 
I start with Matthew since it's first.  He's right about the genealogy.  They're all bloke's names—only a handful of ladies mentioned.  Then I read about Joseph.  He's seems like a nice bloke, not wanting to make a scene.  That's kind of what Megan did with her ex—she didn't announce it to the world that he was messing around on her, yet that's what he accused her of publishing lies in the newspaper.  I read on to find out that an angel speaks to him in a dream and tells him that she didn't cheat, that what happened was from God.  Jesus will be known as Immanuel—God with us.  I pause there.  God with us... not on a judgment seat passing orders, not making impossible rules to follow... with us, like us.  I look back to see that he followed what he was told in the dream.  I think on my vision—I suppose that's what it was.  It was a doorway.  Is God speaking to me?  I don't know. 
Some wise men come to visit and stop at a king's palace searching for a baby—the future king.  The king they meet seems sketchy.  They leave and find the child—Jesus.  They worship him and give him gifts, then leave without telling the king.  Joseph leaves, being warned in a dream to flee.  The king gets furious at the wise men for not returning and telling him what he wants to know so he has all the ankle biters there killed.  That is messed up and too fantastical to be coincidence, they leave just in time to not get killed.  I see lots of fulfilled prophecy and find this fascinating. 
I move on to read about John the Baptist again, how he was preparing the way.  I read on about details of the baptism and God—the father, I think—spoke before all those people.  That moment really resonates with me.  There's just something about that... it just seems surreal, but in a positive, astonishing sort of way. 
I read about Jesus getting tested by the Devil and I feel like I can relate to that.  I feel like I've stood on a precipice and made some wrong choices in my life, yet he did the right thing and I'm a little jealous at the self-control he must've had. 
I continue on, reading about how his mates so easily followed him, healings... sermons.  That sermon on the mount resounds with me.  To actually get in and see what he said and how he felt, and how good he was... it's almost unbelievable.  But he was supposedly real.  I honestly don't doubt that he lived.  There's too much going on here.  Mikey said that John and Matthew were his disciples, that they experienced this.  These are first-hand accounts from his best mates.  I don't doubt them.  They're so similar yet different—from two perspectives at the same event and I get it.  That's why they're both here.  They have so much to tell. 
I continue on thinking how incredibly wise his words are as well as kind, loving, gracious.  I stop. 

"Matthew‬ ‭7:7‬, Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."
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I remember Megan talking to me about this, then later on I saw that doorway...  She said to ask and keep on asking, seek and keep on seeking, knock and keep on knocking.  Maybe that's why I see the door—maybe it's suggested by her, maybe from God.  I don't know... but I keep reading. 
I spend the next days in the same kind of routine—eat, exercise, read.  I write my questions down as I finish Matthew, Mark, and Luke.  I even read a bit of Acts when I just have to get some answers. I call up Noah. It rings twice.

"G'day."

"Hey, this is Jai."

"Ah, good. I was hoping you'd call. I've been worried that I'd scared you off. I even got lectured by my superiors for being too upfront. Once I said I felt like God was insisting, they kind of backed off though."

"Yeah. It's hard to hear how your life's work affects others, especially if it's not all positive."

"Yeah, that's what I was afraid I'd done to you. But when one feels God moving, you kind of have to listen, you know? Or I guess that's what we try to do. Our goal is to please him."

"I can kind of understand that."

"How's everything?"

"Flat out like a lizard drinking."

He laughs.

"I've been reading the Bible that Megan's brother gave me."

"You have?"

"Yeah. I've got some questions. I was wondering if you had some time to talk."

"I'm actually about to head out to a church picnic. Leadership is having a barbie at the beach. You're definitely welcome to come. It's a rellies and mates kind of thing."

"I don't want to impose..."

"Not at all. If I can't answer one, guaranteed someone else there could. We're all Bible scholars, you know. Or at least try to be and then the self-application bit is a struggle. But we're all trying to run the race to receive the prize."

As he tells me this, I feel like I've heard that before... not reading the past few days. I think it's a Bible quote that I've overheard in passing at church previously. I realize they're all kind of the same, speaking the same kind of language. He really doesn't mind me coming so I agree. He gives me the directions so I bring a carry bag with my bathers and list. I put on my sunnies and I head out to the church retreat, hoping it's really not an awkward imposition. I feel a calm come over me like it's not and I let go of my apprehension and step out into the sun.